Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

Fred and Mildred owned a pub down south. Their son Peter lived away at York university, doing a marketing degree.
One snowy December they decided to have a medieval Christmas weekend.
They hired a huge marquee for the pub garden and also hired a local DJ to play 70s music by Donna summer and similar artists.
They weren’t too happy with the look of the marquee so rang Peter to ask his advice. He told them to get more bunting and a couple of suits of armour and cover the floor in straw to give a more medieval look.
Fred and Mildred were very very pleased with the result.
They asked Peter how they should advertise the event.
He told them to get posters put up around town and get an advert in the local press.
“Great idea said Fred, but what should we write?”
Peter suggested the following............
“This is the winter of our disco tent, made glorious by our son up York.”

 

[guitarpete247]

Fred and Mildred owned a pub down south. Their son Peter lived away at York university, doing a marketing degree.
One snowy December they decided to have a medieval Christmas weekend.
They hired a huge marquee for the pub garden and also hired a local DJ to play 70s music by Donna summer and similar artists.
They weren’t too happy with the look of the marquee so rang Peter to ask his advice. He told them to get more bunting and a couple of suits of armour and cover the floor in straw to give a more medieval look.
Fred and Mildred were very very pleased with the result.
They asked Peter how they should advertise the event.
He told them to get posters put up around town and get an advert in the local press.
“Great idea said Fred, but what should we write?”
Peter suggested the following............
“This is the winter of our disco tent, made glorious by our son up York.”

Oh!!!!!

 

[guitarpete247]

In ancient times ships that were propelled by slaves were kept in time by the beating of a gong.
On one such ship they found that, with the gong at the back, the rowers at the front were always out of time.
The captain decided to move the gong to the middle of the ship so that all the slaves could hear it.
It was a heavy piece of equipment and the sailors on the ship couldn't lift it or even drag it.
After thinking for a while they decided that they needed some rollers to move it easily. The only resource they had were the slaves, as they had many spare slaves for when they were in battle and slaves were injured.
They managed, with spare oars, to lever it up onto the body of the first slave then slowly move the gong to the middle of the ship.
As they moved it they sang.
"We're rolling a gong on the chest of a slave".



I think I know where my coat is.

 

[Cavalol]

A bad workman always blames his fools.

EDIT: *tools

Stupid keyboard.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[MichaelW2]

View attachment 519295

Don't be a drama llama.

 

[roadrash]

Lucy in the sky with diamonds...

john lennon ...brilliant song writer......shyte at cludo

 

[Smokin Joe]

A man in Saudi Arabia has been convicted of stealing hand sanitizer. Ironically, he won't be needing it now...

 

[tyred]

It is okay to visit friends so long as you don't get out of your car.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[morrisman]

Three conspiracy theorists went into a bar. You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.

 

[tyred]

 

[postman]

Just been talking to my neighbour. He told me he has just finished his 25th marathon since lockdown.l told him I prefer aero mint choc myself.