Any good jokes ... ?

[Venod]

The Postmen are getting looked after.

 

[Cavalol]

Tip for bailiffs: if you’re not sure how valuable everything else is, seize sandwich toasters. Debtor the Breville you know.

 

[Venod]

The Spanish King has been quarantined on his private jet.
This means the reign in Spain stays mainly in the plane.

 

[Dave7]

And as if by magic, doughnut posted this, it seems!

View attachment 514310

I give that at least a double like

 

[welsh dragon]

A blonde man spots a letter on his doormat. In big writing it says do not bend.

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up

 

[Dave7]

I w

A blonde man spots a letter on his doormat. In big writing it says do not bend.

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up

I will forward that one......though I may make one slight change

 

[welsh dragon]

I w

I will forward that one......though I may make one slight change

You had better not.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

I once fell in love with a girl that only knew 4 vowels.

Unfortunately, she didn't know I existed.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I bought a chainsaw, a couple of weeks back, but I took it back to the shop and told the shop assistant, "When I bought this, you said it would cut down 50 trees an hour!, I've only managed two trees in a week!"

The assistant says "let me see" and starts it up.

BRRRRRRRRR!!

It startled me and I jumped right back in surprise and said "What the hell is that noise?!"

 

[Cavalol]

I used to be a potato.


Ignore that last remark, it's just the vodka talking.

 

[snorri]

Old guy goes to a massage parlour, and has a wonderful massage done by a beautiful masseuse.
She finishes the massage and asks, "Are you ready now for some super sex?" to which the guy replies "Yes, I'll take the soup please".