Any good jokes ... ?

[guitarpete247]

I've put this on before .


A drummer fed up with being the butt of all the jokes decides he wants to change instruments
After wandering around for a few hours he goes up to a member of staff and says.
"Can I have the red saxophone and the cream accordian."
The gut says "You're a drummer aren't you?*
"Yeah how did you know?"
"Well the first is a fire extinguisher and the orher's a radiator."

 

[guitarpete247]

Plus another I've done before.

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

 

[Speicher]

Lovely surprise bumping into my old French teacher today, she asked what I was up to nowadays. I said I liked to go swimming with my friend and there's a cat on my chair.

If you ask her to conjugate she will probably decline.

 

[morrisman]

Just heard that Harry is thinking of taking up painting full time after stepping down from the Royal family.
He'll be the artist formerly known as Prince.

 

[Archie_tect]

If you ask her to conjugate she will probably decline.

Her past's imperfect and her future's irregular.

 

[Cavalol]

I really wish I knew who kicked the jack out from under the car that I was working on.

The suspension is killing me.

 

[Profpointy]

Lovely surprise bumping into my old French teacher today, she asked what I was up to nowadays. I said I liked to go swimming with my friend and there's a cat on my chair.

and there's a monkey in the tree

 

[Cavalol]

I named my coffee table Vincent.

It has a bit of veneer missing.

 

[Smokin Joe]

 

[morrisman]

I was bitten by a radioactive lawyer and now I have the Power of Attorney

 

[Cavalol]

I was shocked the other day when I thought I heard my wife say she wanted to go and see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.

Then I saw her face - now I'm in Geneva!

 

[Andy_R]

I was shocked the other day when I thought I heard my wife say she wanted to go and see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.

Then I saw her face - now I'm in Geneva!

When my wife told me she used to be in a Moroccan Monkees tribute band, I didn't believe her. Then I saw her Fez....

 

[Boo]

How do you know when there's a lead singer at the door?

They don't know when to come in!

 

[Boo]

How do you shut a guitarist up?

Put some music in front of him!

 

[Boo]

What do you throw a drowning bass player?

His amp!