I did that weeks ago on here.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
It's a fair Kop.
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
There was a terrible misunderstanding when Sean Connery wanted to purchase some kinky underwear. Apparently he had asked for "satin" ones.
Threevok
Growing old disgracefully
- Location
- South Wales
Mrs V has been nagging me to take her out, so I took her to a lovely place for tea and biscuits.
I can't believe she had never given blood before
I can't believe she had never given blood before
Arjimlad
Tights of Cydonia
- Location
- South Glos
Try looking from the side too... very clever!
I showed this to my daughter and she said I was about 4 years behind the rest of the internet! Cheeky moo. And she showed me the other message...
There was a guy who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God.
He thought, "Oh, I'd better open this one and see what it's all about."
So he opened it and read:-
"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100.00 in it, which was all
the money I had until next time I draw my state pension.
Next Wednesday is Christmas day, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you
are my only hope. Can you please help me?"
The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all
the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few
pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96.00, which
they put into an envelope and sent over to her.
The rest of the day, all of the workers felt the warm glow of the kind thing they had done.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later another letter came from the old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was
opened.
It read:-
"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you
did for me?
Because of your gift of love I was able to put on a glorious
dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was 4 quid missing...
... I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office."
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God.
He thought, "Oh, I'd better open this one and see what it's all about."
So he opened it and read:-
"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100.00 in it, which was all
the money I had until next time I draw my state pension.
Next Wednesday is Christmas day, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you
are my only hope. Can you please help me?"
The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all
the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few
pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96.00, which
they put into an envelope and sent over to her.
The rest of the day, all of the workers felt the warm glow of the kind thing they had done.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later another letter came from the old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was
opened.
It read:-
"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you
did for me?
Because of your gift of love I was able to put on a glorious
dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was 4 quid missing...
... I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office."
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
