Any good jokes ... ?

[raleighnut]

Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side.

She had to, we've only got one chair.

You are Les Dawson AICMFP

 

[Cavalol]

We did NOT walk 500 miles and we will NOT walk 500 more .

The Disclaimers.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[lazybloke]

And there was me thinking it was masturbating in picture three, making it a sperm whale!

That was orca wood

 

[Cavalol]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people, who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know please?

I need to borrow some chairs.

 

[Cavalol]

I have piles and piles of ironing to do.

I don't know which is worse.

 

[Globalti]

Two wind turbines are standing on a hill. One asks the other: "Do you like music?"

"Yes" it replies. "I'm a huge metal fan!"

 

[Mr Celine]

My boss says I have to wear a santa suit to work next week.

I don't want to, but apparently there's a claus in my contract.

 

[rikki]

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Smokin Joe]

 

[Cavalol]

My brother just came down with something really bad.

A faulty parachute.

 

[Cavalol]

Imagine if Elon Musk got involved in a scandal.

Elongate would drag on for ages.

 

[Cavalol]

I've got a fetish for women who've been run over by steamrollers, though just lately they've been a bit thin on the ground.