Any good jokes ... ?

[Threevok]

I've just had some worrying news.

The doctor says my recent blood test shows the presence of hypotrochoids and epitrochoids.

He's sent me for a Spirograph

 

[Threevok]

Our local pub is very dusty, since I took the pledge

 

[Cavalol]

Working in fungus identification is really dull. Every day it's just say mould, say mould.

 

[simon the viking]

Got a tip for Uttoxeter races on Saturday.....

Creosote...

Ive heard its really good over fences

 

[CharlesF]

The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?"

"Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked.

 

[Chris S]

Reminds me of somebody who used to hand over his spectacles every time they heard, "Glasses please." It wasn't very funny the first time.

 

[Cavalol]

Come to realise that I will always be dyslexic.


A leotard never changes it's spots.

 

[roadrash]

When I woke up this morning, strangely the first thing that came into my mind was: It is 50 years since I was in the army, half a century !!!!
I feel old all of a sudden.

have I missed the punchline

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Got a tip for Uttoxeter races on Saturday.....

Creosote...

Ive heard its really good over fences

Loose Button in the 2:30, it's bound to come off.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Archie_tect]

Loose Button in the 2:30, it's bound to come off.

...Shy Talk on the rails.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[AndyRM]

 

[PaulB]

Interviewer: How do you explain this four-year gap on your CV?
Candidate: That was when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That's impressive, you're hired.
Candidate: Thanks, I really need this yob.

 

[PaulB]

Political correctness has gone absolutely bonkers. My mate Guy Chapman has had to change his name to Person Personperson!