Any good jokes ... ?

[morrisman]

Q Which footballer can hold an enormous amount of fish in his mouth?
A Pele can

 

[morrisman]

There are 10 types of people in this world; those who understand the binary system and those who don't.

Unless the joke is in ternary

 

[Cavalol]

Doctor: You have the same disease as the girl in Airplane.

Me: Oh God, what is it?

Doctor: A movie with Leslie Neilsen, but that's not important right now.

 

[EltonFrog]

That binary joke has been posted at least ten times.

 

[Cavalol]

I've asked a few people now what IDGAF stands for and I can't say anyone's reply has been that helpful.

 

[morrisman]

I wrote down a list of everyone I hate on a piece of paper and my roommate use it to roll his joint....
He's now high on the list of people I never want to see again

 

[EltonFrog]

I wrote down a list of everyone I hate on a piece of paper and my roommate use it to roll his joint....
He's now high on the list of people I never want to see again

Ummm. No offence, but you already told us that joke in January. I stole it.

 

[Broughtonblue]

😉👍

 

[oldfatfool]

What do we want?
More Mavis Riley impersonators!

When do we want it?
I don't really know.

Which reminds me, but

Who ?????

You won't get it.

Many many years ago in an amusement arcade far far away I used to help out on the dodgems, on a particularly warm sunny day the trade was particularly slow with just a few old grannies playing the slots with their presumably grandkids. The lad in the cash booth suddenly comes over the mike announcing that with every dodgem token sold there would be a ticket entitling the holder to a free celebrity swimming lesson on the beach. He paused as a queue of oldies started to form before announcing they would be with corrie star Len Fairclough. I honestly thought he would be lynched but christ did we piss ourselves.

 

[cyberknight]

 

[morrisman]

Ummm. No offence, but you already told us that joke in January. I stole it.

Do you have nothing better to do than police the joke thread?

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

Q: Why did the pianist have to leave Tescos?
A: Because he forgot his Chopin Liszt.