Any good jokes ... ?

[guitarpete247]

 

[Fnaar]

^^^^?????^^^^

 

[Dayvo]

Man: Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.

Friend: What are you taking for it?

Man: Pepper.









Yeah, I know it's an old one....

 

[Dayvo]

I daresay it's been posted already (although not to my knowledge) but here it is again (possibly):

 

[colly]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[colly]

I asked my gym instructor what else he did for a living ‘Skip hire” he replied

“Great” I said “ I know who to come to when I need a skip”

“No” he replied “ I meant skip higher, you fat bastard”

 

[Cavalol]

I knocked on a blokes door earlier and said, "Have you lost a cat?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Black & White?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "I've just seen it."

He said, "Whereabouts?"

I said, "Follow me."

I walked up the road, pointed to a tree and said, "There, on that poster."

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[CharlesF]

Enjoy this, then imagine a typical English speaker trying to pronounce a word in Xhosa or Zulu



View: https://twitter.com/susanaesono/status/1168228851102576640?s=21

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[Cavalol]

David Beckham and his wife were in the back of a taxi after an evening out with friends.
"So, what did you two get up to this evening?" asked the taxi driver.
"Oh, it was great. Me and the wife went to this lovely restaurant. The food was excellent!"
"What was the name of the restaurant?" asked the taxi driver.
"Oh, damn, I can't remember it now." replied David. "Erm.... what's the name of that London train station?"
"Paddington?" said the taxi driver.
"No, that's not it."
"Euston?"
"No, that's not it either."
"Victoria?"
"That's it," said David. "Victoria!

Victoria, Do you remember the name of that restaurant?"