Any good jokes ... ?

[simon the viking]

On the Graffiti theme..

Seen on a 'Machine' in a pub toilet years ago

Insert BABY for refund

 

[Profpointy]

Both have been nicked for facebook!

Admittedly I've had a couple of beers but I laughed out loud at both of those.

Without beer, the tears might not have been laughter

 

[Cavalol]

I once put a bay leaf in a curry, and it repossessed all the carrots.

 

[Cavalol]

"My grandson got his foot stuck in a see-saw.”

Sorry to hear that. How is he?

“Ok, a bit up and down at the moment."

 

[simon the viking]

What do you call a french cyclist in sandals

Julian Alaphilippe-flop

 

[Salty seadog]

I once put a bay leaf in a curry, and it repossessed all the carrots.

Needs work. Fair conception, poor execution.

4/10, see me.

 

[Domus]

Best Tee shirt slogan I ever saw.

"Jesus Loves Everyone"
but I'm his favourite

 

[PaulB]

This afternoon I met the man who invented windowsills.


He's a total ledge.

 

[Cavalol]

A mummy phones a restaurant

"Hello, I'd like to book a table for Sakhrahotep III"

"Could you spell that for me?" the Maitre d' replied

"Certainly, a bird, two triangles, a wavy line, sun, another bird, a jackals head and a scarab"

 

[morrisman]

My best friend called me and said "An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don't know what to do!"
I drove all the way to his house just to find out he's just a big lyre.

 

[slow scot]

A mummy phones a restaurant

"Hello, I'd like to book a table for Sakhrahotep III"

"Could you spell that for me?" the Maitre d' replied

"Certainly, a bird, two triangles, a wavy line, sun, another bird, a jackals head and a scarab"

A scarab can never be used as a full stop. Elementary error.

 

[swee'pea99]

Best Tee shirt slogan I ever saw.

"Jesus Loves Everyone"
but I'm his favourite

Reminds me of my favourite card ever, received from a friend. Snowy church in pretty pastoral scene, with the legend: Jesus loves you. Open the card and: Everyone else thinks you're a DAFFODIL!

 

[morrisman]

Just heard a couple of synaesthetes having an argument. There was some very colourful language.

 

[Threevok]

I've just been to see two bricklayers argue over a corner

to quoin affrays

 

[Archie_tect]

Just heard a couple of synaesthetes having an argument. There was some very colourful language.

... especially when they see red.