Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Can you help me with this clue in my crossword puzzle?

2 across: Where they nailed Jesus.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Wouldn't work, as a verbal


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4DyPyMD1IE

 

[CharlesF]

I found a wallet with 20 quid in it. I wasn't sure how to proceed, but then I thought, "What would Jesus do?"


So I turned it into wine.

 

[colly]

I have an Elton John pun.

It's a little bit funny.

 

[colly]

TO BE FRANK, I NEED TO CHANGE MY NAME

 

[Cavalol]

Woke up to find the Police at the foot of my hospital bed. They were singing 'Don't stand so colostomy'

 

[glasgowcyclist]

The patron saint of children's playgrounds is Francis of a Si Saw.

Keep up!

The patron saint of playground equipment is Francis of a see saw.

 

[Rezillo]

Casey Jones! A reelin' and a rollin'
Casey Jones! You never have to guess.
When you hear, the tootin' of the whistle
It's Casey at the (something) of the Cannonball Express.

After 50 years

Same for me. It's throttle, I think.

Cannonballs obviously a popular analogy of the time because......

Like a mighty cannonball he seems to fly
You'll hear about him everywhere you go
The time will come when everyone will know
The name of .......(full volume to great annoyance of everyone else present) Champion the Wonder Horse!
Champion the Wonder Horse!

I can still sing most of that song, and now that's set off both Torchy the Battery Boy and Fireball XL5.

 

[Chris S]

Don't get married, just find somebody you don't like and buy them a house.

 

[ozboz]

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[Dave7]

View attachment 475109

Can I award that "todays double like".

 

[Leaway2]

Can you help me with this clue in my crossword puzzle?

2 across: Where they nailed Jesus.

Answer - Hands and feet doesn't fit

 

[betty swollocks]

Coming out of Asda this morning, there was a woman crying her eyes out. She'd lost all her holiday money. I felt so sorry for her I gave her £50.

I don't usually do that kind of thing, but I felt generous, as I'd just found £2,000 in the car park.

 

[Cavalol]

Watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night and all of a sudden the guy on the triangle disappeared.