Any good jokes ... ?

[raleighnut]

My wife hasn't talked to me for two weeks now: and she seems to think it's a punishment!

 

[Dayvo]

'Salright, I'm not married!

 

[Cavalol]

I've cut down on my drinking, now I just have one pint before I go to bed.

Last night I went to bed 6 times.

 

[Profpointy]

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm as its loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel dizzy and sick.

Joking aside, and I did laugh, but a mate was talking about a former work colleague who always seemed unwell and late for work and so on and underperformed in his job to the extent he was eventually sacked, yet it turned out there was a problem with his boiler and it was poisoning him. Fortunately he was merely below par rather than dead, despite the getting sacked bit but at least it all was all resolved

 

[Cavalol]

I've just spent ages waxing my car.

Beats me how it gets that hairy in the first place.

 

[Cavalol]

I found a blackbird stuck to my curtains this morning.

It was a velcrow.

 

[Cavalol]

Whilst visiting my dad in jail yesterday, I noticed some of the staff were rainbow coloured.


I later discovered they were prism officers.

 

[Cavalol]

The bloke who invented crosswords is buried in a cemetery near my nan's.

His grave is three across and five down.

 

[EltonFrog]

If you think I'm obsessed with Supertramp, you should take a look at my girlfriend.

You’re just a Dreamer.

 

[roadrash]

The bloke who invented crosswords is buried in a cemetery near my nan's.

His grave is three across and five down.

You’re just a Dreamer.

its raining again !

 

[EltonFrog]

its raining again !

You’re Bloody Well Right.

 

[PeteXXX]

What do you get if you boil a hyena?






A laughing stock....

 

[morrisman]

Once knew a shepherd with hearing problems. We called him Mutton Geoff.

 

[morrisman]

Pizzerias - a bit like cauliflower ears, but rounder, redder & flecked with pepperoni.

 

[Arjimlad]

What do you get if you boil a hyena?






A laughing stock....