Any good jokes ... ?

[ClichéGuevara]

 

[Profpointy]

2014 called, they want their joke back.

We're almost at the stage of the student rag mag joke writting committtee. A new recruit joined and was a little confused when every now and again someone would shout out a seemingly random number and the other members of the team would groan or smile or even titter a little. He asked a colleague who explained that everyone knew all the jokes so to save time they just shouted out the number in the master list.

He naturally joined in and shouted out an entirley random number every now and again and was immediately accepted by the team. One day he happened to shout out "four hundred and ninety two" and his colleagues immediately fell about laughing and could hardly speak for several minutes. Confused, he asked why the huge reaction

"oh, we've not heard that one before"

 

[Dave7]

View attachment 448663

Very good that

 

[Freds Dad]

I went to the local bookshop and asked for a book on turtles.

The assistant said “ hardback”

I replied “Yes with little heads”

 

[Cavalol]

"The car's battery has died."
"Have you tried the AA?"
"Yes, but the voltage was too low."

 

[Threevok]

I'm still waiting for my Disneyland photos to arrive

One day my prints will come

 

[EltonFrog]

I'm still waiting for my Disneyland photos to arrive

One day my prints will come

Will he come from Mt Fuji or Ilford?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[screenman]

That is brilliant.

 

[welsh dragon]

A man went to the Dr's and told the dr that there was something wrong with him. He dropped his trousers and bent over. The Dr had a look and saw a piece of lettuce sticking out of the mans bottom.

"Nothing to worry about" the Dr said. "It's just the tip of the iceberg".

 

[Dayvo]

Not a joke, more of a humorous gesture: window cleaners at a children's hospital.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

That is brilliant.

I know. I was giggling far longer than I should.

 

[Cavalol]

Ever tried to 'Google' Del Amitri? I did, but nothing ever happens.

Nothing happens at all.

 

[Arjimlad]

Ever tried to 'Google' Del Amitri? I did, but nothing ever happens.

Nothing happens at all.

With jokes like that you deserve to be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow !

 

[PaulB]

I went to a combined Chinese New Year/Burns night party last night, known as a Chinese-Burns party. I wasn't keen but they twisted my arm.