Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

 

[morrisman]

I turned 18 today, so I bought myself a locket and put my picture in it. I guess I really am independent

 

[screenman]

A warning to all, be careful about drink driving as we are getting near to Christmas as the police are out checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks in Manchester and one thing led to another and I had a few to many, not a good idea I know. Knowing I was over the limit I decided to leave the car at the pub and took a bus home, I passed the police check point, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breath tests, because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and no accidents, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before and not even sure where I got it from

 

[PaulSB]

^^ love it @screenman

 

[PaulB]

I've got a few misgivings about this Satanic cult I've just joined,
but I suppose we all have to make sacrifices.

 

[Cavalol]

I've been playing an online game where you have to name as many English bands as possible. I've got to Level 42.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[PaulB]

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

 

[screenman]

I am self employed so if you find me talking to myself please do not disturb me, I am just having a staff meeting.

 

[PK99]

Congratulations to China on first landing on the dark side of the moon.

First pictures are stunning.

 

[Arjimlad]

Congratulations to China on first landing on the dark side of the moon.

First pictures are stunning.

View attachment 445489

Am I the only reader sitting here waiting for the picture to load?!

 

[PK99]

Am I the only reader sitting here waiting for the picture to load?!

Gotcha!

 

[Freds Dad]

I sent both my hearing aids away to be serviced.

I've heard nothing for three weeks.

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[Venod]