Any good jokes ... ?

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betty swollocks

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PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
I love a good drum, you can't beat them, (pause) well actually (Ken Dodd)
I heard one Ken Dod told Radio 4 Extra a couple of days ago. I'm not a fan of long jokes (keep 'em short) but this one was very good.

My friend Simon suffered a terrible accident in a saw mill when the cutting blade ripped through him causing the worst damage doctors had ever seen. They managed to save his life but the injuries he suffered were so bad, they couldn't save his legs.

By an amazing co-incidence, his father's brother was brought into the same hospital Simon was being operated on but they couldn't save his life and he died of a heart attack.

The surgeons thought about this and the hospital did a rapid tissue match and discovered due to their family connections, they were entirely compatible and so they transplanted the donor's legs onto Simon so he wouldn't have to suffer the problems of having no legs.

All went well and Simon was immensely pleased they could do so much for him.

A few weeks later, he appeared on 'Stars in Their Eyes' and he was asked what he was going to do. He replied, 'Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Simon and Half Uncle!'
 

Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
I heard one Ken Dod told Radio 4 Extra a couple of days ago. I'm not a fan of long jokes (keep 'em short) but this one was very good.

My friend Simon suffered a terrible accident in a saw mill when the cutting blade ripped through him causing the worst damage doctors had ever seen. They managed to save his life but the injuries he suffered were so bad, they couldn't save his legs.

By an amazing co-incidence, his father's brother was brought into the same hospital Simon was being operated on but they couldn't save his life and he died of a heart attack.

The surgeons thought about this and the hospital did a rapid tissue match and discovered due to their family connections, they were entirely compatible and so they transplanted the donor's legs onto Simon so he wouldn't have to suffer the problems of having no legs.

All went well and Simon was immensely pleased they could do so much for him.

A few weeks later, he appeared on 'Stars in Their Eyes' and he was asked what he was going to do. He replied, 'Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Simon and Half Uncle!'

I presume an old recording as he died back in March.
 

Salty seadog

Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)

You're welcome. It got you a TMN at least.
 
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