Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
Hope the right hand end doesn't drop off...
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Viz has a wealth of marvellous jokes! IMO.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
A butcher is just about to close his shop when he saw a dog walking in. He tried to chase the dog away, but the dog kept coming back. When he was going to chase him off again he saw the dog had an envelope in his mouth. Curious, the butcher opened the envelope and in it he found a £50 note and a note that said: “Can you please send me with this dog 1kg of minced beef and 1/2 kg of leg of lamb?”
Surprised the butcher took the money, put the mince and the leg of lamb in a bag and put that in front of the dog. However he forgot to give the dog the change.
The dog started to growl and to show the butcher his teeth. The butcher realised his mistake and put the change in the bag. The dog calmed down, took the bag and left.
The butcher, impressed, decided to follow the dog and quickly closed his shop.
The dog walked down the street to the traffic-lights where he sat on the pavement waiting until he was allowed to cross.
He then crossed the road and walked to the busstop, with the butcher following him closely. At the busstop, when he saw it was the bus he needed, he got in, still followed by the butcher.
The butcher, now well surprised, saw how the dog lifted his front paws to press the bell to be let off the bus, still with the bag in his mouth.
Dog and butcher walked down the street until the dog stopped at a house where he left the bag by the door, then, going back a bit, he threw himself at the door, hitting it hard. He repeated this several times, but nobody answered the door.
Then to top it all, the butcher saw the dog taking up the bag again, walk around the house, jump over a fence and go to a window. Once there he tapped the window a few times, without letting go of the bag, then he returned to the door.
At that moment a man opened the door… and started to hit the dog. The butcher ran to the man to stop him and said: “Jesus, my friend, what are you doing?. Your dog is a genius!…… He is unique!”
The man, annoyed, answered: “Genius, my arse!! This is now the second time this week this stupid dog forgot his keys…. and comes back when I´m in the bath!!.”
Surprised the butcher took the money, put the mince and the leg of lamb in a bag and put that in front of the dog. However he forgot to give the dog the change.
The dog started to growl and to show the butcher his teeth. The butcher realised his mistake and put the change in the bag. The dog calmed down, took the bag and left.
The butcher, impressed, decided to follow the dog and quickly closed his shop.
The dog walked down the street to the traffic-lights where he sat on the pavement waiting until he was allowed to cross.
He then crossed the road and walked to the busstop, with the butcher following him closely. At the busstop, when he saw it was the bus he needed, he got in, still followed by the butcher.
The butcher, now well surprised, saw how the dog lifted his front paws to press the bell to be let off the bus, still with the bag in his mouth.
Dog and butcher walked down the street until the dog stopped at a house where he left the bag by the door, then, going back a bit, he threw himself at the door, hitting it hard. He repeated this several times, but nobody answered the door.
Then to top it all, the butcher saw the dog taking up the bag again, walk around the house, jump over a fence and go to a window. Once there he tapped the window a few times, without letting go of the bag, then he returned to the door.
At that moment a man opened the door… and started to hit the dog. The butcher ran to the man to stop him and said: “Jesus, my friend, what are you doing?. Your dog is a genius!…… He is unique!”
The man, annoyed, answered: “Genius, my arse!! This is now the second time this week this stupid dog forgot his keys…. and comes back when I´m in the bath!!.”
morrisman
Guru
But don't skinheads want bovver boots?
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
You are not supposed to pull your crackers till Xmas day!!
NorthernDave
Never used Über Member
- Location
- The real Northern Powerhouse
Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
A mince spy.
