TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can't tune a fish...
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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You can't tune a fish...
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
NEWS JUST IN
Teacher Arrested
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
...Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
Teacher Arrested
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
...Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
[QUOTE 4878915, member: 76"]THere should be at least a one month rule before posting the same joke surely?[/QUOTE]
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
Yeah and they should at least be funny if they're getting posted twice.
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
[QUOTE 4878998, member: 45"]You've posted more than twice...[/QUOTE]
My jokes are hilarious though.
My jokes are hilarious though.
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
[QUOTE 4879010, member: 45"]Is this the part where we have to go into your world rather than expect you to come into ours?[/QUOTE]
That's dangerous for a few reasons. Main one being is I might prefer that world ....
That's dangerous for a few reasons. Main one being is I might prefer that world ....
I take it that is a joke.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Another visual joke...
PaulSB
Squire
- Location
- Chorley, Lancashire
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes?
So when they dock, they can Scandanavian.
So when they dock, they can Scandanavian.
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
What do you call a French man in sandals?
Philippe Philoppe.
What do you call a Spanish man streaking at a football match?
Senior Willy.
What do you call a Russian man with Tourette's?
Yukanol Fukov.
Philippe Philoppe.
What do you call a Spanish man streaking at a football match?
Senior Willy.
What do you call a Russian man with Tourette's?
Yukanol Fukov.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Hitchington
Lovely stuff
- Location
- That London
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Graaaaaaaaainnnss!!!
(RIP George A Romero)
Graaaaaaaaainnnss!!!
(RIP George A Romero)
I don't think you need to tell us it's a visual joke, I kinda get that.
