Any good jokes ... ?

[gaz71]

Im sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations.Just had a woman from the sperm bank....boy,did i give her a mouthful!

 

[ufkacbln]

Really? Every year?

"Attention" every year... must be married!

 

[RichardB]

Binary, as easy as 1, 10, 11.

I love this.

 

[ayceejay]

A guy goes to the doctors the doctor says, "I've got some bad news
you've got cancer aaaand you have Alzheimers"
The guy says
"Thank god I don't have cancer"

 

[ozboz]

My pet mouse Elvis died today,
He was caught in a trap ,

 

[Maverick Goose]

What was all the fuss from Labour MPs about a free vote on airstrikes in Syria earlier in the week about?
I thought MPs liked being whipped!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

My pet mouse Elvis died today,
He was caught in a trap ,

4th outing for that one...

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

4th outing for that one...

We can't break out.

 

[ozboz]

↑
4th outing for that one...

Oh dear ,

Am all shuck up

 

[PeteXXX]

Uh Hu uh....

 

[ozboz]

Next you'll be sayin'

' Now go cat go ! '

 

[Dayvo]

4th outing for that one...

Return to sender.

 

[wheresthetorch]

I took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents. We had a lovely evening and, after she'd gone, my dad leaned over and said, "Son, I think this one's a keeper."
"Awww Dad, what makes you say that?"
"She smells of elephant sh*t."

 

[threebikesmcginty]

What have Alfred the Great and Winnie the Pooh got in common?

Their middle name.

 

[Tin Pot]

I love this.

And there I was wondering how they got "pie" from 1, 10, 11