Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Cavalol]

I just had a visit from a midget double glazing salesman and I slammed the door on him.

You should have seen the lock on his face.

 

[tyred]

 

[Andy in Germany]

View attachment 740055

Buccaneer testing ground.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget….
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

 

[Chris S]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Venod]

Met a bloke yesterday called Ian Tevvy, he said he was the brother of The Hollies lead singer.

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]