Any good jokes ... ?

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[tyred]

 

[dicko]

 

[tyred]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

My perfect mug.

 

[postman]

Does anyone know where my mate can get two single beds.ìts a medical reason he needs them for.it seems his wife is sick of him.

 

[wiggydiggy]

Dont underestimate pensioners -

The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw £10
The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than £100 please use the ATM.”
The old lady wanted to know why ...
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, you have £30,000 in your account and the bank doesn't have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately.
The teller told her any amount up to £3000
"Well, please let me have £3000 now", she The teller then handed it very friendly and respectfully to her
The old lady put £10 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit £2990 back into her account.
the moral of this tale .......
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.

 

[tyred]

Dont underestimate pensioners -

The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw £10
The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than £100 please use the ATM.”
The old lady wanted to know why ...
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, you have £30,000 in your account and the bank doesn't have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately.
The teller told her any amount up to £3000
"Well, please let me have £3000 now", she The teller then handed it very friendly and respectfully to her
The old lady put £10 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit £2990 back into her account.
the moral of this tale .......
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.

I might do that next time I go into the bank!

 

[PeteXXX]

And in more serious news, the singer Meatloaf got married earlier today.

His new wife is an accountant. She'll do anything for love, but she won't do VAT

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Someone told me to try horse manure on my rhubarb.

I have to say, l still prefer custard.

 

[T4tomo]

Apparently not a joke.
Final 0.3 seconds of basketball match has to be replayed.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/basketball/68715301
I've read it 3 times and the decision makes no sense at all.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Chris S]

View attachment 726382

And why do they still use pounds when just about everything else is weighed in grams or kilograms?

 

[T4tomo]

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo.
One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.