Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
You are all going to hate me for this...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-67686515
She didn't have a leg to stand on..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-67686515
She didn't have a leg to stand on..
Jameshow
Veteran
My sister picked up a free range chicken after I had chosen a bog standard one.... I said that doesn't look very free range to me any more...!
Windle
Über Member
- Location
- Burnthouses
I'm not too sure about the second one ~ the budgie on the cludgie? The tweet on the seat?
On the antipodean theme perhaps a rabbit would have been better ~ the bunny on the dunny?
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
Right first time, though I do like bunny on the dunny.
Slick
Guru
That's the beauty of it, it can be anything you want it to be, although I saw the first one.
I thought the dram on the lamb would be more cryptic to some.
Mr Celine
Discordian
- Location
- Waxing my moustache
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette .
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus...Hallelujah!
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said:
"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus...Hallelujah!
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said:
"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
