Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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I just got a text message from by 18 month old baby
"Hi mum/dad my phone is broken so I am now using my old phone this is my new number can you send me a message on whatsapp on this number +447565261316"
I"m so impressed that she can go from "bye bye" to full literacy in one week.
There is hope.
"Hi mum/dad my phone is broken so I am now using my old phone this is my new number can you send me a message on whatsapp on this number +447565261316"
I"m so impressed that she can go from "bye bye" to full literacy in one week.
There is hope.
markemark
Über Member
You’ll probably find it’ll be cheaper to give in to the scammer than your 18 month old.
Guy walks into a pub with his dog, orders a beer and says to the barman “I’ve got no money but I'll show you something better. My dog can speak.” Barman says “Right then, make it talk”
So the guy says to the dog “You’ve been out to the pub, and had 8 pints of beer, four double whiskys, and a pina colada. How do you feel in the morning?” The dog says “ruff!”
Barman says “Nah, I’m not having that. Get out!”
Guy says “No, no, it can talk, give us another chance”
So this time he says to the dog “You’re teeing off and your ball doesn’t hit the fairway, the green, the bunker or the water. Where is it?”. The dog says “ruff!”
Barman says “Right, that’s it! Out the pair of you!”
The guy says “Honestly it can talk, one more chance please”
So the guy says to the dog “Right, this is our last chance before we get chucked out, so pay attention: World Cup, 1986, Mexico, who was in goal for Scotland?”. The dog says “ruff!”
The barman has had enough and chucks them both out the pub. The guy & his dog are sat on the pavement outside and the dog turns and says to him “Sorry, I messed that up, it was Jim Leighton wasn’t it?”
So the guy says to the dog “You’ve been out to the pub, and had 8 pints of beer, four double whiskys, and a pina colada. How do you feel in the morning?” The dog says “ruff!”
Barman says “Nah, I’m not having that. Get out!”
Guy says “No, no, it can talk, give us another chance”
So this time he says to the dog “You’re teeing off and your ball doesn’t hit the fairway, the green, the bunker or the water. Where is it?”. The dog says “ruff!”
Barman says “Right, that’s it! Out the pair of you!”
The guy says “Honestly it can talk, one more chance please”
So the guy says to the dog “Right, this is our last chance before we get chucked out, so pay attention: World Cup, 1986, Mexico, who was in goal for Scotland?”. The dog says “ruff!”
The barman has had enough and chucks them both out the pub. The guy & his dog are sat on the pavement outside and the dog turns and says to him “Sorry, I messed that up, it was Jim Leighton wasn’t it?”
OP
OP
cisamcgu
Legendary Member
- Location
- Merseyside-ish
Last edited by a moderator:
BigSid
Guru
- Location
- Hungerford
My girlfriend's upset with me. She asked which of her friends I'd like to have a threesome with. I told her which two and now she's not speaking to me. What did I do wrong?
