Any good jokes ... ?

[Chris S]

 

[Salty seadog]

I can't believe I've only just found this out but you can buy and eat birthday cake any day you like... Turns out nobody's checking.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Chris S]

 

[Chris S]

 

[Cavalol]

Some idiot in a Mr T costume just tried to attack me whilst I was paying for my kebab.

I pita'd the fool.

 

[srj10]

I'm playing Scrabble with Midge Ure.

I've only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me. OVNR.

 

[morrisman]

Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs.
Because they're Inca hoots.

 

[Sterlo]

Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs.
Because they're Inca hoots.

That deserves a final warning

 

[Chris S]

View attachment 681637

Works for me.

That does actually work. Your brain has only has a certain amount of attention to divide between tasks.

 

[postman]

Well after this afternoon's news,I am going to sink that Titanic Porter very quickly.It seems I need a pacemaker.How am I going to manage with a bloke running five yards infront of me for the next twenty years.

 

[Scoosh]

Well after this afternoon's news,I am going to sink that Titanic Porter very quickly.It seems I need a pacemaker.How am I going to manage with a bloke running five yards infront of me for the next twenty years.

"Always look on the bright side of Life ..."

Perfect example.

 

[PeteXXX]

Glen Campbell weighs 57.15 KG

He’s a Nine Stone Cowboy....

 

[Dave7]

I have just sold my house and bought an old disused lighthouse........I didn't want anything too flashy.

 

[betty swollocks]

Not all publishers have gone woke. Some remain gender-specific.