Any good jokes ... ?

[Seevio]

A "medium" can communicate with the dead.

Imagine what a "large" could do!

 

[tyred]

 

[PaulB]

Porridge. Now THAT'S what I call oat cuisine.

 

[betty swollocks]

A rock crab & his best friend, a sand crab were playing on the beach when a giant wave came & swept them out to sea. Sadly, they both perished. When rock crab arrived in heaven, he was given a harp & told to sit on a cloud & play. He missed his friend sand crab & upon inquiring as to his whereabouts was told he didn't make it & had gone to 'the other place'. After several pitiful requests, rock crab was allowed to visit his old friend for an hour & found sand crab had settled in well & had started a disco. Unfortunately, his visit was all too short and he had to leave when his visiting time was up. Tearfully, he returned to his cloud in the sky - but he had mislaid his harp on the way - St Peter himself asked him where it was:-
his response……..

"I left my harp in sand crab’s disco."

 

[Cavalol]

Got a new hobby. A couple of days a week, I spend two hours bellringing. Some people find it an odd thing to do with your time,but I find it very therapeutic.
The bus driver seems less keen on it, though.

 

[tyred]

 

[Andy_R]

 

[Cavalol]

Today, I watched a demonstration of shire horses.

Tomorrow, I hope to see the more confident ones.

 

[craigwend]

 

[presta]

I saw a sign in a shop that read - Pay No Interest - so I walked right past it.

I saw a sign in Tesco: 5p OFF
I thought they'd started selling Enid Blyton books.

 

[rikki]

 

[PaulB]

To impress my new girlfriend, I've bought us two tickets for the Reading festival. It'll be an endurance test for me because I don't even like books.

 

[Jameshow]

worrying box in the roller coasters operating kiosk.....!

 

[srj10]

Ghost tour staff across the UK are set to take industrial action over pay, starting tomorrow they will be running a skeleton service.

 

[tyred]