Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I phoned Heart FM today, to enter their mystery prize competition.
The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our mystery grand star prize".
"That's fantastic!" I called out in delight.
"Feel confident?" The presenter asked, "It's a geography question."
"Well, I've got a degree in geography from Oxford University," I proudly replied, "and I've taught that particular subject to A-level students for the last 20 years"
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of an Apollo mountain bike...what is the capital of France?"
"Birmingham", I replied.

 

[tyred]

 

[morrisman]

Birds Eye view of the UK

 

[simongt]

View attachment 654357

Or when the painter's apprentice returned and was asked if he'd painted the front porch, the apprentice replied 'Oh yes, but it wan't a Porche, it was a BMW'. 🤣

 

[Chromatic]

View attachment 654357

Oh c'mon, that's just stupid, I mean look again at the picture, did you not see it, that's OSB not ply!😃

 

[Sterlo]

Birds Eye view of the UK

View attachment 654378

That's very aPEAling

 

[Andy in Germany]

Birds Eye view of the UK

View attachment 654378

I believe the UK's maps of Europe looked like that in the 1930's, it was known as appeasement.

 

[tyred]

 

[MichaelW2]

That's very aPEAling

Peas in our time!

 

[PeteXXX]

Why is it Iron-Man not Fe-Male?

 

[Andy in Germany]

Why is it Iron-Man not Fe-Male?

Give Marvel time...

 

[cyberknight]

Give Marvel time...

the latest iron man in the comics i believe is a woman anyway , quick google "iron heart " woke culture now makes iron person a 15 year old female person of colour

 

[mistyoptic]

the latest iron man in the comics i believe is a woman anyway , quick google "iron heart " woke culture now makes iron person a 15 year old female person of colour

With a magnetic personality, of course

 

[simongt]

Why is it Iron-Man not Fe-Male?

Watched a clip of the She Hulk film coming out in August.
Scraping the barrel doesn't even enter into it.
But no doubt it'll please a certain element of the plebs.

 

[Cavalol]

I was on the phone to Powergen about my bill when I said to the wife "Pop into the garage with a pen and paper love and write down what it says on the meter"
She came back a minute later and handed me a piece of paper that said "Danger High Voltage"