Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I got a Womble pepper grinder for Christmas.
It's rubbish.
Everything is either underground or overground.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Did you hear about the Pre-School teacher who was helping one of the children put on his "Wellie boot's"?
He asked for help and she could see why..
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little "Wellie's" still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second "Wellie" on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, "Miss, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the "Wellie's" off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the "Wellie's" back on,
this time on the right feet..
He then announced, "These aren't my Wellies."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to.
Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting "Wellie's" off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the "Wellie's" off when he said,
"They're my brother's "Wellie's", My mom made me wear 'them.'
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.
But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the "Wellie's" on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your gloves?"
He said, "I stuffed 'them in the toes of my Wellie's".
She will be eligible for parole in three years!

 

[Bike Tyson]

Church of the Lateral Flow Saints.

 

[raleighnut]

A Sunbeam?

Nah Jesus always rode a Velocette.

 

[Dayvo]

What kind of motorcycle did Jesus ride?

I think Jesus preferred to hang around with the Cyclo Cross guys.

 

[Cavalol]

I think Jesus preferred to hang around with the Cyclo Cross guys.

He really did look after the needy

 

[Dayvo]

He really did look after the needy

You’ve nailed it, Cav!

 

[Tribansman]

The Big Man's fond of Genesis, his lad too (well, all but the Croix de Fer)

 

[tyred]

 

[betty swollocks]

Leaked footage of SAGE deliberations:-

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfe4RwkNB5I&t=15s

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Gillian was concerned that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the vets.
The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. He then proceeded to tell Gillian that, if she wanted to keep it from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

Gillian went to Boots.
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Gillian said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."

Gillian replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist said, "Well, stay off your bicycle for at least a week."

Dog Show, if you can listen without giggling


View: https://youtu.be/_a6x8ud0v3o

 

[Cavalol]

It's a little known fact that while the enigma machine codes were being cracked by Alan Turing, his sister Kay provided the tea, sandwiches and snacks.

 

[Cavalol]

With Archbishop Desmond Tutu gone, can anyone confirm who is the second best priest now?

 

[Tribansman]

Out riding today, saw a dog really stand out in the distance. Got a bit closer and it was obvious why, it was a hi-viszla

 

[srj10]

Elton John piled on the pounds over the Xmas festivities,
No more normal jeans.