Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

Does anyone remember the chiropractor joke that was posted about a week back?

Took me a minute that

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[tyred]

 

[Dirk]

Whats everyone using to scrape ice from the windscreen ........I used a store discount card this morning but it was no good ..................I only got 20% off

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[JtB]

View attachment 620244

Pythagoras rule trumps the “keep of the grass” sign.

 

[PaulB]

Ignore the best before date on beans. They're the worst thing you can eat before a date.

 

[PaulB]

So I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer my own anaesthetic. "Knock yourself out" he said.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dirk]

My missus said that I'd only got two faults.
1. I don't listen
2. Er.......something else.

 

[Dave7]

Top xmas tip.
Do not wrap gifts/presents up when you have been drinking.
I am having to phone around to find out who has got my tv remote

 

[PaulB]

Two tips for Christmas;
1. Forget the past, you can't change it.
2. Forget the present, I didn't get you one.

 

[tyred]