Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Ladies and Gentlemen... that concludes our tour of the toilets.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Colin Grigson]

 

[Colin Grigson]

 

[Colin Grigson]

 

[Colin Grigson]

 

[Cavalol]

"Have you ever seen £20 all crumpled up,
A woman asked her husband.
"No... " said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned her blouse and slowly reached down into her bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.
He took the crumpled £20 note from her and smiled approvingly.
"Have you ever seen £50 all crumpled up?"... she then asked her husband.
"No... no, I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.
He took the crumpled £50 note... and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
"Now... " she said. "Have you ever seen £25,000 all crumpled up?"
"No, never" he said while obviously becoming even more excited.
"Well... go and look in the garage!"

 

[Dave7]

View attachment 608053

Took me a minute but I got there

 

[DaveReading]

Took me a minute but I got there

The poor punctuation didn't help.

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[morrisman]

I was working at an hotel when a woman came to reception and said 'I'm here to see my uncle Bruce Forsyth could you please ring his room. So I dialled his room and said 'Niece to see you, to see you niece'.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

 

[morrisman]

When the Pope toured Ireland hw was asked what he thought of County Down. He said it was not the same since Carol Vorderman left.

 

[Salty seadog]

What's another word for constipation that begins with N and ends with N and has 15 letters?

Spoiler

NNNnnNNNNNNNnnn

Before I open that spoiler I'm gonna guess it has another 13 'n' s in it.

Edited to say. Yay...

 

[Tribansman]

Just learned the word for constipation in German.

Farfrompoopen