Any good jokes ... ?

[iancity]

God hated pigs so much he made them taste of bacon - saw this on another forum and couldn't stop laughing!

 

[craigwend]

God hated pigs so much he made them taste of bacon - saw this on another forum and couldn't stop laughing!

Worryingly...
https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100114139

 

[simon the viking]

Cant believe I've just been blocked on a Lego forum

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Just started the Adam ant diet...... Don't chew ever Don't chew ever

 

[Electric_Andy]

Well I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 2 days already (Tommy Cooper)

 

[morrisman]

The police came round to my house late last night and arrested me for stealing a complete set of encyclopedias.
“Hang on", I said, “I can explain everything"

 

[morrisman]

Cant believe I've just been blocked on a Lego forum

Bet you are sh***ing bricks

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

Want to visit The Netherlands AND India?
Can't decide between the two?
Then get yourself down to Holland and Bharat!

 

[Cavalol]

According to my bookies' window, 'Open Sunday 9-4'. Easiest money I'll ever make, they haven't been closed a single day at the weekend for months.

 

[PaulB]

I sent off for an audiobook about cricket from a famous umpire.
So far, I haven’t heard a Dickie Bird.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Bazzer]

A man dies and arrives at the pearly gates. As he is waiting for St Peter he notices a huge wall of clocks. When St Peter turns up he asks:
"What are all those clocks?"
St Peter replies: "They are all lie clocks". Every time someone lies, the hands move from 12 o'clock.
"Oh" says the man as he scans the wall. "But that one's not moved"
"Ah", St Peter replies. "That's Mother Theresa's"
"Well" says the man, "What about that one at 2 minutes past?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock" replies St Peter.
As he continues to marvel at the display he asks, "Where's Boris Johnson's clock?"
"Not on the wall" says St Peter. "We're using that one as a ceiling fan".

 

[Dayvo]