Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I've just found out who owns Toyah Willcox's local Chinese takeaway.



It's a Mr Wee.

 

[Archie_tect]

I don't believe it. 83% of statistics are made up.

So are the other 37%.

 

[srj10]

Just heard that my mate was injured whilst playing peek a boo with his child.

He’s now in I.C.U

 

[ClichéGuevara]

 

[Vantage]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[PaulB]

Just had the police banging on my door demanding to know where I was between 5 and 11. I said I was at primary school.

 

[postman]

Just had the police banging on my door demanding to know where I was between 5 and 11. I said I was at primary school.

They were round at my house last week.Two o'clock in the morning.Who is it ? I asked when I heard the banging. The Police!
Go away I can't stand your music I am a Beatles fan.

 

[Cavalol]

Last time I visited Blackpool, I went on a donkey.



Took two months to get there.

 

[postman]

Last time I visited Blackpool, I went on a donkey.



Took two months to get there.

Blackpool is a resort in Lancashire.
A last resort.

 

[Faratid]

My girlfriend says she doesn’t trust me.

I guess that’s just one more thing she has in common with my wife.

My girlfriend says I'm afraid of commitment..............well,..........she's not my girlfriend.

 

[PaulB]

Blackpool is famous for having more public toilets than any other seaside town in the UK. They're known as shop doorways elsewhere.

 

[PaulB]

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to be seen.

 

[doughnut]

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

 

[PaulB]

Last night my wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table. It took a long run up but I managed it.