Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
I saw my Dr today and showed him the very nasty rash on my bum. He totally ignored me though and kept pushing his trolley round the supermarket.
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'
Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome ..'
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe ..
'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
Grumpy leads the pack.
'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'
Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome ..'
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe ..
'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
As I told you Welshie......it didn't look that bad to me.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Now if that had been a nasty radish
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
A ventriloquist goes into his GP with a pony under his arm. What seems to be the problem, the GP asks. My voice is a little horse he responds.
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
I was in school in the '70s. For some tests you got a mark for getting your name on the top correctly.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
I was in school in the '70s. For some tests you got a mark for getting your name on the top correctly.
I remember a classmate getting 2% in their French exam. I remember them telling us it was just that, they’d filled their name in.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
A kid does their French oral exam. Shortly after the examiner is arrested.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Must have been done before, but if we're doing school related gags...
The school inspector visits the school observing the various classes, and asking the kids a few questions to confirm they'd covered the material properly. In the religious studies class he asks "who knocked down the walls of Jericho?" and a little boy answered "I didn't do it Sir!". The inspector naturally challenges the teaches on this gap in the pupil's knowledge. "Which boy said that?". The inspector replies that is was the boy called Johnnie. "Oh don't worry about him", says the RE teacher, "He's a good lad. If he says he didn't do it, then he didn't do it". The horrified inspector challenges the headmaster with the tale, and the wise old headmaster thinks for a moment before speaking, "We need to keep a sense of proportion on these things when children are concerned. How much is repairing this wall going to cost anyway?"
The school inspector visits the school observing the various classes, and asking the kids a few questions to confirm they'd covered the material properly. In the religious studies class he asks "who knocked down the walls of Jericho?" and a little boy answered "I didn't do it Sir!". The inspector naturally challenges the teaches on this gap in the pupil's knowledge. "Which boy said that?". The inspector replies that is was the boy called Johnnie. "Oh don't worry about him", says the RE teacher, "He's a good lad. If he says he didn't do it, then he didn't do it". The horrified inspector challenges the headmaster with the tale, and the wise old headmaster thinks for a moment before speaking, "We need to keep a sense of proportion on these things when children are concerned. How much is repairing this wall going to cost anyway?"
BoldonLad
Not part of the Elite
- Location
- South Tyneside
If a man speaks his mind in a forest and no women hear him, is he still wrong.
Always
