Any good jokes ... ?

[Cathryn]

sounds reasonable.

My nipper once spelled 'cinema' 'sinmur'

I bet his teacher was delighted with his use of phonics

 

[roadrash]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Seevio]

Why is it spelled "camouflage" and not

 

[mistyoptic]

Why is it spelled "camouflage" and not

Didn’t see what you did there

 

[Archie_tect]

I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning Stevens.... well done.

 

[houblon]

I bet his teacher was delighted with his use of phonics

She was right, though, wasn't she! No-one says Sinn Er Marr round these parts. There's no L in 'milk' either, and when she wrote 'I brought my mum breakfast on a chrey' that was a pretty good transcription of English as she is Spoke.

 

[Dave7]

She was right, though, wasn't she! No-one says Sinn Er Marr round these parts. There's no L in 'milk' either, and when she wrote 'I brought my mum breakfast on a chrey' that was a pretty good transcription of English as she is Spoke.

There is no F in milk here. Must nip to the co op.

 

[Dayvo]

There is no F in milk here. Must nip to the co op.

There’s a silent ’P’ in’t swimming pool.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Eziemnaik]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[PaulB]

A man is sitting on his barstool looking terrible, clearly in pain with a grimace on his face. The barman asks him what's wrong and he says, "I've got the salts." The barman tells him he should go to the toilet but the man says, "I can't, I've got the salts." The barman insists but the man is still grimacing and says, "You don't understand, I've got the salts." The barman isn't happy he's sitting there clearly in pain and putting people off so he demands he goes to the toilet. So he gets up and visits the gents. He comes out jolly and looking very pleased with himself. He sits back down and orders another pint. Someone else comes back from the toilet and throws up. "That toilet is an absolute DISGRACE!" he says, so the barman goes in to discover it looks like someone's prison cell after they've been on 'dirty protest'. There's brown stuff everywhere. The walls, the floor the ceiling, everything. He marches out and says to the culprit, 'What sort of bloody salts was it you had?" He sits there looking sheepish and says, 'The summersaults."

 

[Dave7]

Someone keeps dumping soil in my garden.
In an effort to find the culprit I hired a private detective but no success.
The plot thickens.

 

[mistyoptic]

Time for planting seeds. Found these labels