Any good jokes ... ?

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

It's wrapped in aluminium foil and hangs around the cathedral.

The lunch pack of Notre dame.

 

[tyred]

 

[Electric_Andy]

I've never smeared a glove in spicy yellow condiment, I mustard mit

 

[Cavalol]

Thanks to autocorrect, I ordered my wife a Vaseline gift set today.

 

[Cavalol]

Only kidding, I got her these instead

 

[Cavalol]

I’m playing Slap Bass Hero on my PlayStation. I’ve just reached level 42.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I’m playing Slap Bass Hero on my PlayStation. I’ve just reached level 42.

Wait till you get as good as Lee Rocker

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

A man was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee asked, "What seems to be the problem?"
"I'm out of petrol."
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his fuel tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out again.
"Try it now," said one of the bees.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow!' the man exclaimed, "what did you put in there?"
The bee answered,
Wait for it......wait for it............
You're just gonna love this........
"BP."

I first heard that one in the 60's. It takes me back..........

 

[mistyoptic]

From today's Telegraph

 

[Blue]

The teacher asked her students, “Who can tell me what the ruler of Russia was called?”
“Czar,” the class replied in unison.
“Correct. And what was his wife called?”
“Czarina,” the class replied.
“Good! And what were his children called?”
A timid voice piped up, “Czardines?”

 

[Fnaar]

Bedroom rules for cyclists:

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

A young lad goes into a florist the day before Valentines Day.

Florist- “Good morning sir. Can I help you?”

Lad- “I want to buy some flowers”

Florist- “Certainly, do you know what it is you’re after?”

Lad- “Ma hole”

 

[Cavalol]

I got 12 Valentine cards today, which was a surprise that took my breath away - especially as the security guard from Clinton's chased after me for ages.

 

[Dayvo]