Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

My kids keep laughing at my failing memory but they won't be laughing at Christmas when there's no eggs under the bonfire.

 

[screenman]

Finally sorted the Christmas rules ... bubbles & tiers be damned ...
You can do what you like.
.
On Christmas Day, the following family & friends will be at the table ...
Auntie Stella & Uncle Jameson, with Malibu & Smirnoff, & the twins Gin & Tonic, Scottish cousins Johnny Walker and Glen Moray, & from across the pond, bringing some old fashioned Southern Comfort with them my old cousins, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.
My French mate Remy Martin & his friend Pernod, my Spanish mate Jose Cuevo & his cousin Martini & Bianco, her daughter along with my Greek friends Ouzo & Sambuca.
My friends Brandy, Fosters, Snowball & mickey slim, my Neighbours Captain Morgan & the Grants, the Bells, & the Cointreaus, & the Henneseys.
MERRRY CHRISTMAS ... however you spend the day.

 

[PaulB]

Last Christmas my wife wanted me to take her to Las Vegas to see the Temptations. Instead, I took her to Primark to get four tops.

 

[raleighnut]

Finally sorted the Christmas rules ... bubbles & tiers be damned ...
You can do what you like.
.
On Christmas Day, the following family & friends will be at the table ...
Auntie Stella & Uncle Jameson, with Malibu & Smirnoff, & the twins Gin & Tonic, Scottish cousins Johnny Walker and Glen Moray, & from across the pond, bringing some old fashioned Southern Comfort with them my old cousins, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.
My French mate Remy Martin & his friend Pernod, my Spanish mate Jose Cuevo & his cousin Martini & Bianco, her daughter along with my Greek friends Ouzo & Sambuca.
My friends Brandy, Fosters, Snowball & mickey slim, my Neighbours Captain Morgan & the Grants, the Bells, & the Cointreaus, & the Henneseys.
MERRRY CHRISTMAS ... however you spend the day.

you're not inviting young Chardonnay this year then

 

[morrisman]

 

[tyred]

 

[screenman]

 

[screenman]

 

[roadrash]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[screenman]

 

[Venod]

I fear the forthcoming lettuce shortage is just the tip of the Iceberg.

 

[Venod]

Spoilers.

 

[mistyoptic]

Breaking News: The whole of Cornwall has been placed into tier 4 lockdown after hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.

Apparently the Arrrrr rate has increased dramatically.🤭

 

[Venod]