Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

Dick the bartender had a regular customer, a doctor who always ordered an almond daiquiri. Night after night the same thing. One night, Dick was out of almond liqueur so he substituted some hickory flavouring. The doctor, after tasting it, asked the bartender, "Is this an almond daiquiri Dick?" "No, it's a hickory daiquiri Doc."

 

[PaulB]

When an actor is knighted, does he get paid more for appearing in a film? What I'm asking is, would there be a Sir charge?

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

I’ve been told that police will attend at your address and remove excess family members over Christmas.
Does anyone know whether it's a free service or do you have to pay in advance

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Kryton521]

Apparently, after Brexit, 12" rulers won't be made any longer

They're hoping to get an extension!

 

[PeteXXX]

Because they’re all protractors.

They'll need a sine..

 

[Mr Celine]

This thread is going off on a tangent....

 

[roadrash]

you need to aproach it from a different angle

 

[Andy_R]

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

N V B K I T H E K L O P F
I N V E N T O R Z S F O F
T H E E F G H J I O L P L
Y Q W O R D S E A R C H
H A S J P O D I E D G W

 

[morrisman]

Any one else staying up to midnight to see in the new tier?

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[craigwend]