Worst book you've ever read?

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robjh

Legendary Member
The Lord of the Rings.
Oddly, I've read The Hobbit a couple of times and enjoyed it, but although I made at least three attempts with the Rings, just couldn't get into it. :whistle:

If you disliked LOTR then you'd loathe the Silmarillion! I actually, in my much younger self, loved the former but reading the Silmarillion was like drowning in sludge, and I don't think I made it much beyond the first chapter. It then sat on my bookshelf for 30 years, unopened, but has now been safely dispatched off to the charity shop.
 
My wife has spoiled a lot of books for me

She did History as a degree with a bit of English Literature thrown in somehow so she knows books!

Anyway - we were talking about book in general and I found a David Eddings book lying around that had managed to escape being lost when my life exploded a few times

anyway - she started reading it and pointed out how badly it was written compared to some authors that she would read

things like conversation being
He said xxx
SHe said yyy
He exclaimed zzz

and so on

and some other stuff that she had found in just the first few pages

Mean that I have trouble reading some sci-fi and fantasy authors that I used to like!

but it does make me realise that I read some books VERY fast
and other books quite slowly
and the difference is how well they are written - the well written ones make me concentrate on the actual details and the words and every sentence has meaning and every paragraph has depth

The books I read fast are not as well written so I automatically skip a lot of the words and concentrate on the words and emotions

which is what makes the original David Eddings books good - teh characters are good and the interactiosn are good
but a lot of the in between stuff is not all that good
Lord of the RIngs is the opposite and I read every word - sometimes 2 or 3 times to tyr a different rhythm which extracts a different meaning - especially with the Elvish and other rhymes and songs

This is exactly why writers should be readers as well, because you learn by finding out what you like or don't, and what works - or doesn't. Certainly, that's how I see it, as I write as a hobby i.e. fan fiction, but I also write - and have written - professionally.

Ideally, you want to achieve that balance between easy flow / dialogue, and the richness of language that brings a story and an environment to life; where you need action and where narration is better at moving things along. I try my best to stick to that when writing. Well, fiction at least. I know I have a tendency towards the florid, but I will go through my writing and pare stuff back if I think I've gone overboard.

Of course, some stuff, like the Mills & Boon books, are largely aimed at people who might not otherwise read at all, and so the language used is perhaps more basic. They're not to be knocked though, because if they get people reading, then that's a good thing in my book. (see what I did there?) ;)

But when I read, what I pick up depends largely on my mood. If I'm not too worried about the quality of the writing, but want something that's easy reading and entertaining, then I'll grab a Star Trek novel. Yet because they're written by so many different authors, there's a lot of variance, even there. Whereas if I want to get really stuck in, then something by Janny Wurz, George Martin or Robert Jordan is what I'll reach for. And of course, there's all the stuff in between.

As for sports biographies, my experience is largely confined to motor racing stuff. But anything by Gerald Donaldson or David Tremayne is usually a good bet. Donaldson's book on Gilles Villeneuve was one of the first driver bios I'd bought (I was still at school), and is a really compelling read. And although I'm not a fan of Nigel Mansell by any means, Christopher Hilton's 1987 biography (i.e. published prior to the explosion of Mansellmania) is worth a look. It was one of the few motor racing books in my local library at the time, so yeah, I read it...
 

Conrad_K

unindicted co-conspirator
I fortunately never got that far, but it's entirely possible he couldn't work out how to turn off the word-salad generator and just submitted what he had. You'd probably have to work hard to convince me that he was real and not just an early version of an LLM. Especially given his later books apparently are the same book with different characters and locations.
I knew a moderately-famous author some years ago. We crossed verbal swords regularly in an online forum in the late 1980s and early 1990s; he was more than a bit of a gasbag and I enjoyed deflating his balloon. [ah, the simpler joys of a simpler time...]

Anyway, he was expounding The World According to Him to his followers one evening, and said "No editor ever touches my writing. They wouldn't dare!"


That explained a lot about some of the stuff he wrote...
 

raleighnut

Legendary Member
I think that's one I've got somewhere. My expectations of sports biogs are always rock bottom low and they are rarely even that good.

I've got a couple of 'sportsman' type books, Barry by Steve Parrish and Nick Harris is pretty good but The Parrish Times by Steve himself is excellent, I think with Barry being dead it's more of a reverential approach but Steve's book is full of some of the antics messers Sheene and Parrish got up to is mindboggling.
 

simongt

Guru
Location
Norwich
It then sat on my bookshelf for 30 years, unopened, but has now been safely dispatched off to the charity shop.
I bought the Rings trilogy in three hardback volumes complete with marvellous colour illustrations & fold outs back in 1972 for the princely sum of £1.95 a volume. I was earning £11 a week, so it wasn't cheap by the standards then, so maybe I should have kept them and flogged them to a dealer - ! :laugh:
 

Alex321

Guru
Location
South Wales
The Lord of the Rings.
Oddly, I've read The Hobbit a couple of times and enjoyed it, but although I made at least three attempts with the Rings, just couldn't get into it. :whistle:

I read LOTR first, when I was about 10 (mostly read with a lamp under the bedcovers when I was supposed to be asleep). We didn't get a copy of The Hobbit until I was about 15 I think.
 

Alex321

Guru
Location
South Wales
If you disliked LOTR then you'd loathe the Silmarillion! I actually, in my much younger self, loved the former but reading the Silmarillion was like drowning in sludge, and I don't think I made it much beyond the first chapter. It then sat on my bookshelf for 30 years, unopened, but has now been safely dispatched off to the charity shop.

The first half of the Silmarillion is a bit like Genesis in the Bible. Not much more than a genealogy list. But the second half is completely different. And much more readable.
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
I read Lord of the Rings as a teenager. It was the done thing. I don't remember what my opinion of it was. I do remember it was very thick, so I would have been relieved to get to the end.
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
The Godfather is rather poor, in stark contrast to the masterpiece of a film

Other books I liked as a kid but oh dear, they are practically unreadable as an adult, Azimov' Foundation for example and the sequels (after the original) 3 were even worse. OK the galactic empire and psychohisotry idea is brillian but the writing is poor. It did occur to me that it is inspired by the marxist interpretation of history; not that there's per se anything wring with that.

And at the risk of being unfair, after all they are very much aimed at young children, the Narnia books are unreadable as an adult but I loved them as a kid, at which time I'd been unaware they were propaganda.
 
I read Lord of the Rings as a teenager. It was the done thing. I don't remember what my opinion of it was. I do remember it was very thick, so I would have been relieved to get to the end.

I remember when I was in Primary school - final year of it - we had to read a book every week and write a "synopsis" of it

The books that we had to read moved around the class on a rota - people dreaded certain books coming round as they were so thick
One of them was Moonfleet
I groaned internall when it finally reached me but I loved it - read it in a single day - I think my parents were worried that i spent the whole day just reading it!

Anyway - 2 weeks of the year we were allowed to choose any book - but it had to be a "grown up" book
so I went to the library and looked for something
I accidentally chose the frist volume of Lord of the RIngs
Same thing happened - even at 11 years old I loved it and ended up reading all 3 volumes over the week.
I have no idea what my teacher thought when he realised which book I had read!!!

Anyway - I sort of forgot about it and found myself re-reading it when I was about 17 and realised that I had read it already
still loved it!

I clearly remember when the radio series was broadcast for the first time. I was at University at the time and it was almost compulsory listening

I was lucky and I had a Radio-Casette (posh or WHAT!!) so I could wait until it started, press record (using a special tape bought and saved for that one purpose!) and then be free to go out

when I walked around the campus at that time it was common to see rooms with BIG signs on the door demanding silence because someone would be playing the radio and recording it using a microphone near the speaker
And they ID NOT want other noises from outside the room intruding on the sound
 
I've never warmed to Asimov's writing. Goodness knows I tried...

But I still enjoy the Chronicles of Narnia. I recently picked up a hardback and illustrated compendium in the local book exchange.
 
I've never warmed to Asimov's writing. Goodness knows I tried...

But I still enjoy the Chronicles of Narnia. I recently picked up a hardback and illustrated compendium in the local book exchange.

I read Asimov many years ago when I was looking for stuff to read on the train going into work

I ended up going through the whole Sci-Fi and fantasy (single section as usual) part of the local library
plus some other such as Dick Francis and a few others I dug out

I did read one based in the ages of glamorous cavalry battle (in the minds of overly romantic writers!) where it seemed to mostly consist of one officer - it had to be an officer so the ladies could swoon over his bravery - riding form one town to another with an urgent message and then riding somewhere else
ad nausium - with lots of description of the country and his feeling and the state of his precious horse
Yea Gods it was boring

and unrealistic

didn;t even remember the author even though I tried another one he wrote in case it was just me but it was just as bad
 

postman

Squire
Location
,Leeds
I love my Fire tablet,i have kindle Unlimited £9-49 a month.I love Detective stories,Supernatural stories,i must read three a week.
 

Chromatic

Legendary Member
Location
Gloucestershire
Those who mentioned Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance are right, here's something from days gone by here:
+1, although I tried twice. That guff about it changing the way you think about your life is right though, it made me think I shouldn't waste any more of my life ploughing my way through to the end of thoroughly tedious books.

Knut Hamsun's Hunger was an ordeal, although I did force myself to read it to the end so I didn't learn my lesson from Zen.
 
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