Uncle Drago's agony column

[Dirk]

Dear Uncle Drago,
I'm currently doing an MOT for some nobber with a Smart car. Tell me how I can give him the good news with a straight face.
Ta.
Phil the Geezer

 

[Drago]

Dear Phil,

I daresay he's a jolly nice chap. A big fan of EastEnders, and never ever watches Coronation Street. I suggest you slip him the pass with a crafty 50 folded inside to thank him for being an all round good egg.

Love,

Drago.

 

[Archie_tect]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I have just taken over from my retired boss in the Ministry of Transport Garage Assessment Central Office. I have just received a brown envelope, with lots of cash in used tenners and a note from from 'Phil the Greek' telling me you know what to do.

What should I do?

 

[Dirk]

Dear Phil,

I daresay he's a jolly nice chap. A big fan of EastEnders, and never ever watches Coronation Street. I suggest you slip him the pass with a crafty 50 folded inside to thank him for being an all round good egg.

Love,

Drago.

Dear Uncle Drago,
Who said anything about a pass?
He thinks I've gone out the back to print a certificate. I'm actually sitting in the pub thinking how I can best break the news.....

Cheers - Phil the Geezer

 

[Drago]

This is a new ministry process. I. The very near future you will be asked to produce an MOT certificate for a Smart car. You need to do so without question.

The envelope and its contents is for the, erm, MOT Testers Benevolent fund.

 

[Edwardoka]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I've been rather down of late so to get myself out of this rut decided to take up metalworking as a hobby, after being inspired by watching blacksmithing Youtube videos.
To this end, I was in the process of obtaining some copper in order to create my first bronze sculpture when a local officer of the law frogmarched me back to the black maria crying alarums.

How can he charge me with theft if the cables are public infrastructure? Public means it's free for everyone surely?

Mr Paul Ian Key,
Cell 42, The Local Constabulary

 

[Drago]

Dear Pete,

Did you not slip the nice officer a brown envelope stuffed with a contribution to the police benevolent fund? Still, if you want the metal back check the officers eBay page.

Love,

Drago.

 

[Gravity Aided]

Well, when an army of communist wrestlers invades you'll be glad The Donald is in charge and has experience of taking care of such matters.

Dear Uncle Drago;
Couldn't Chris Jericho and his scarves handle some commie wrestlers?
Democrat, but not Socialist,
Left Central Illinois.

 

[Edwardoka]

Dear Uncle Drago;
Couldn't Chris Jericho and his scarves handle some commie wrestlers?
Democrat, but not Socialist,
Left Central Illinois.

Dear Centrist's Centrist,

No, he's only interested in breaking walls down, not building them. It says so when he arrives at a venue

Kind regards
"Mildly Tepid" Steve Houston, The Texas Boneshaker

 

[Drago]

Dear Uncle Drago;
Couldn't Chris Jericho and his scarves handle some commie wrestlers?
Democrat, but not Socialist,
Left Central Illinois.

Dear Che,

The words Democrat and Liberal are code speak for freedom hating baby eating communists. Beware the red menace!

Regards,

Drago McCarthy.

 

[Edwardoka]

Dear Che,

The words Democrat and Liberal are code speak for freedom hating bay eating communists. Beware the red menace!

Regards,

Drago McCarthy.

Dear Senator McWitchhunt

I resent the implication that I eat bays. Any fule kno that we freedom hating communists eat capitalists

Kind regards
Polybius Potterick

 

[Drago]

Dear Ho Chin Min,

Please stick to every day problems with stubborn stains (unless the stubborn stain is on a red flag)

Regards,

Drago the Redneck.

 

[Gravity Aided]

Dear Uncle Drago;

Beware the red menace!

I thought we made him president.
Che
Currently breaking down walls with Chris Jericho.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=194wKhVBt64

 

[classic33]

Dear Pete,

Did you not slip the nice officer a brown envelope stuffed with a contribution to the police benevolent fund? Still, if you want the metal back check the officers eBay page.

Love,

Drago.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHUdx0jkSKY

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I’m deeply in love with this girl that I met at a party. The problem is that she’s the daughter of my dad’s enemy! I really love her and don’t want to lose her, but I know our parents would be really angry about it. What should I do?

Gentleman Romeo
Gallicano Nel Lazio