True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Todd Carty's brother Rod believes Chris Rea is is father, but he was actually sired by Richard Madeley.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was seen hiding behind some trees near Rod Hull's house with a powerful transmitter that had the potential to disrupt Rod's TV reception

 

[DRM]

The BBC film from 1984, Threads was widely believed to be about a nuclear strike on Sheffield, however it actually simulated the effect an auberge field explosion would have, after Chris Rea blew up Stones Brewery, after a four pack of Stones Bitter from his local off licence gave him terrible stomach cramps, sickness & the worlds worst case of the trots, however Roy "Chubby" Brown managed to calm Chris down after supplying him with some immodium & chilled loo roll, the government carried on & treated the threat as an exercise in case of Soviet or Turdis explosions over the UK.

 

[craigwend]

Your chance to get the Turdis...

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/electric/chris-reas-electrified-classic-mini-coming-auction

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea used to carry the Mini on the TURDIS as a sort of lifeboat in case Gren Flag couldn't go back in time far enough to assist.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea decided to save on wallpaper costs by using the stickers from bananas and other fruit. It's slow going but he's done a decent sized patch on his bedroom wall.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea discovered Australia in 1704 and was promptly eaten by the locals.

Only judicious and slightly confusing usenk his time machine has allowed to be alive in the present day.

On an interesting side note, the eating of Rea lives on the the racial memory of the Australians and women traditionally grow beards in his memory.

 

[T4tomo]

Chris Rea invented the cardigan

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea invented the cardigan

Buttons or zip?

Or maybe a business venture with Spanx to integrate auberge field technology - providing not only fastenings, but also concealment and containment of belly fat.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea also invented the tin foil cod piece, designed to protect the wearers gentleman vegetables from being irradiated.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea also invented the tin foil cod piece, designed to protect the wearers gentleman vegetables from being irradiated.

I have to ask, why would any one be putting their "Junk" in a microwave, or anywhere near a radiation device?
These Tynesiders are a weird ,weird lot !

 

[Drago]

I have to ask, why would any one be putting their "Junk" in a microwave, or anywhere near a radiation device?
These Tynesiders are a weird ,weird lot !

Using uranium to keep their nethers warm is a traditional passtime up their way. This custom is believed to have started when a rectangular shaped comet exploded in the sky in 1722, showing the ground with pieces of warm metal that gave an eerie green glow.

The time continuum was almost destroyed when among the wreckage was found a Chris Rea album. Fortunately it was ann8 track cartridge and no kne had a machine to play it.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea used to carry the Mini on the TURDIS as a sort of lifeboat in case Gren Flag couldn't go back in time far enough to assist.

The mini has a time dilation device fitted to the accelerator pedal. Years will pass on the M1, but inside the mini only seconds have passed for Chris. Police want a word with him about the traffic build up.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea played Jack Regan in the original pilot for The Sweeney.

Insted of shouting "shut it", "you're nicked, or "slag", he'd scream "fool if you think it over" in a dreadful cockney accent.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea played Jack Regan in the original pilot for The Sweeney.

Insted of shouting "shut it", "you're nicked, or "slag", he'd scream "fool if you think it over" in a dreadful cockney accent.

A lot of Chris Rea's acting roles ended at the pilot stage. For example his portrayal of BA Baracas in the A-Team with his catchphrase of "I pity the fool ... if he thinks it's over"