True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea's TURDIS has only three wheels which enables him to drive it on a motorbike licence.

Has he passed the CBT tho'?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Sculptor Antony Gormley has revealed that Chris Rea was both the inspiration and the model for the Angel of the North. Said Gormley: "The original working title was 'Chris Rea with a big plank strapped to his arms' but I had to change it because that's not a very poncey title. I've been in the art business long enough to know the difference a poncey title can make"

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Has he passed the CBT tho'?

Constipated bastard test

 

[grldtnr]

Constipated bastard test

That he may be, but Chris will still need to prove he is competent before he can ride any motorcycle, even if he passes his A1, he then has to go though it all again to get his Big A licence for a nutter bastard 650 cc and above, but at least his over 24, so can do it on the direct access course.
Crazy, but themes the rules.
Or he can ride certain trikes on his 'B : class...

 

[DRM]

That he may be, but Chris will still need to prove he is competent before he can ride any motorcycle, even if he passes his A1, he then has to go though it all again to get his Big A licence for a nutter bastard 650 cc and above, but at least his over 24, so can do it on the direct access course.
Crazy, but themes the rules.
Or he can ride certain trikes on his 'B : class...

Chris Rea must have full motorcycle licence as he has been seen riding a 1958 Ariel Square 4, which he collected in the Time Transit, from a local dealer in 1958, so he has a one owner classic bike, that is like new, however it's so noisy it scares old ladies and can be heard miles away as he belts up & down the A19.

 

[Drago]

When his records aren't selling Chris Rea tops up his income by using the TURDIS to go back to the sixties to buy car and motorbikes and transporting them to the nineties where he sells them to the producers of Heartbeat.

Indeed, Rea has a cameo in episode 3 of season two, The Bearded Burglar, where played the part of a bearded Burglar. Naturally, anyone in the 1960s with a beard was automatically a bad 'un, and anyone with a goatee clearly a nasty criminal mastermind.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea mugs old biddies for their bingo money, and fritters it away on Pontefract cakes and liquorice all-sorts.
He has a serious dependency on liquorice, as as previously noted in is a constipated bastard.
The man knows he is evil , but it's just a peculiar addiction he has , his only after the black bits of the all-sorts, , he chucks the coloured bits way, but he has a fondness for pink & blue bobbley aniseed ones, b
He likes them.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris abhors gambling of any kind , he won't even buy tombola tickets, ever since he done a 20p each way better on a 'Yankee' bet, and spectacularly lost the whole bet
That's why he takes old Biddies bingo money of them, to stop them on the slippery slope to ruin.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea's TURDIS has only three wheels which enables him to drive it on a motorbike licence.

An early prototype had 4 wheels before the change

 

[grldtnr]

Oh ay! You'd need a CBT to ride that, where does the loo roll go ?

 

[Drago]

It was Chris Rea who, on behalf of the Conservative Party, quietly used the TURDIS to spirit the WMD out of Iraq and leave Tony Blair holding his d***.

Rea, ever the businessman, saw an opportunity to double his fee by selling them to the MoD.

 

[grldtnr]

I asked Chatgpt to give me a untrue fact about Chris Rea, it came back with
'Chris Rea trained Squirrels to play a harmonica for a world tour'
I bet he paid them peanuts , but nice try CHATGPT !

 

[antnee]

I haven't laughed out loud as much as this for a Very long time, thanks everyone for this post and all your contributions.

 

[Drago]

I haven't laughed out loud as much as this for a Very long time, thanks everyone for this post and all your contributions.

You are Chris Rea's solicitor AICMFP!

 

[grldtnr]

If Antnee is , then I deny everything , this is an UNTRUE facts about Chris, some maybe bending the truth slightly, but mostly they are true untruths.
That's a fact....m