True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea's family has an unusual genetic trait whereby ancestral DNA is expressed. It's passed down the female line but only expressed in males. He has an uncle who in later life became a trilobite. No one is sure how or if it has affected Chris and he remains tight lipped on the matter.

 

[Drago]

Due to Chris Rea's constant time meddling all his male line ancestors going back to 2500 BC are himself.

 

[DRM]

In a recently published freedom of information request, it appears that Chris Rea’s planning application to turn the Transporter Bridge into a multi person time travel machine has been turned down by the council’s planning department, after evidence of all the cock ups in history that have been caused by a Plastic portable potty, and an old Transit Van, came to light

 

[Dogtrousers]

Scholars of racist nutjob HP Lovecraft investigating the origins of his Cthulu mythos have reached a strange conclusion. Cthulu seems undeniably to have been based on a real, human, individual. The only problem is that the individual in question was not born until some 20 years after Lovecraft's death. This may seem impossible, yet the facts are undeniable. Cthulu is Chris Rea and Chris Rea is Cthulu

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was recently discovered to have a conviction for fraud.

He'd reported his mobile phone stolen, but when the police asked for a picture of the stolen item the metdata showed the picture had been taken 140 years before the mobile phone had been invented.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

In the famous equation , m stands for meddling, and c for Chris

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea has never left his cake out in the rain.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea played the part of droid Huey in the film Silent Running.

Sadly he misheard and turned up on the first day dressed as a druid.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Chris Rea has got really fed up with all this and has decided to visit Poshshire to "sort out" a troublesome resident

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is having trouble keeping the TURDIS running as he can no longer get the correct B cell batteries for his sonic screwdriver.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The Chernobyl disaster was Chris Rea trying to recharge his non rechargeable B cells with a nuclear reactor.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea literally has blue blood. Because of his submarine heritage instead of haemoglobin he has a blue copper based compound.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was redently ticketed by Surrey Police for failing to demist the windscreen of the TURDIS.

 

[DRM]

Several years ago, Chris Rea was disqualified from the Great North Run for mechanical doping, he was seen wearing some remote control trousers, the vision of him being dragged away to doping control after having his legs scanned with an iPad, borrowed from the UCI inspired Nick Park to write the story line for Wallace & Grommit's The Wrong Tousers

 

[craigwend]

Chris Rea has wrote his first book...