True Facts About Chris Rea

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

classic33

Leg End Member
468773669_875385161427467_5208762998073924282_n.jpg
 

craigwend

Grimpeur des terrains plats
IMG_3741.jpeg
 

grldtnr

Über Member
Chris Rea is one of the Deep Ones. He will eventually return to his ancestral home under the North Sea.

He will have a little bit of 'gangsta' business to sort out first, involving,some particular nasty business with the 'mucky raincoat ' brigade, ...
A film made back in '71, was going to star Chris Rea , as Carter in 'Get Carter' , but due to the current murder death chill cold snap Chris couldn't get the Time Transit to start ,there was a long time before the AA would come out to get it started.
So ,not being able to time warp back in time the part of Carter was given to Micheal Caine,( now, not a lot of people know that !)
Originally the anti hero was supposed to have a 'smoggie' accent, but Caine was so good, that they went with his dulcet Sarf Lunnon tones.
It indeed ends with title character ending up in the 'Deep' , shot in the back and floating out to sea.

A sad end to the film, but can't be having anti- heroes winning out can we.
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Chris Rea was round his friend George Lucas' house for a party one evening in 1976. Rea had a terrible cold and sounded very hoarse.

Lucas heard the voice and on the spot granted the part of Darth Vader to Rea.

Unfortunately, the next day Rea saw a TV ad for Tunes...

Suffice to say the part was recast in favour of James Earl Jones.
 
Last edited:

grldtnr

Über Member
Because he got stuck in 1902, it was 3 years before the AA could get him going again.

Hell yeah. I wouldn't want a Time Transit! Rumour is going round Rea is slated to play Dr. Frankenfurter, in a remake of the Rocky Horror show, or at the very least take the Lead in an amature MAD( Middlesbro' Am Dram )society show on the Teesport, hevis a real whizz doing the transwarp tranny dance, with a 'Step to the Left, a step to right, and the Pelvic thrust' ,should be breeze on an account of the Time Transit.......that's if he isnt sranded back in 1905, Transits are notiurious for stalling.
Meanwhile, that Jimmy Nail is ready to nail the part as he is a big Spender, I mean look at his Crocodile shoes.....
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Following an argument over a gambling debt, Chris Rea landed Gary Gitter in prison.

He did this by giving Glitter's adult girlfriend from the then present day in the TURDIS, taking her back in time to 14th birthday and then reporting Glitter to the police.
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
https://archaeologymag.com/2024/12/tablet-with-unknown-language-unearthed-in-georgia/
The above carved stone has been found near Lake Bashplemi in the Dmanisi region of Georgia, it contains symbols from an unknown ancient language, and could be up to 4,000 years old, archeologists are working tirelessly to translate the carvings, however they will be in for a real surprise when they do, Chris Rea took The Turdis to that region about 4,000 years ago, befriending the locals, he learnt some of their language, and used it to enter a song contest, he got a local to carve out the lyrics, and borrowed a 6 stringed instrument, a bit like a Gourd, which he managed to get into standard tuning, with this he performed a rousing rendition of "Driving Home For Christmas" however the local village chief thought it was rubbish as he didn't know what a Christmas was, or what was meant by driving back to it, so he chucked the tablet away, then sent Chris packing, since this section of the stone tablet was discovered, there has been much discussion to what it says, Chris is keeping quiet with regard to this
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
During a flight over Roswell,New Mexico, Chris Rea drunkenly crashed into another TURDIS thar was being driven by drunk alopecia suffering dwarves.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DRM

grldtnr

Über Member
I think i'm losing my grip on reality......you know whom to blame!
Not that Smoggie from Middlesbro' ,but that bloke from Poshshire, master Bond villain Drago.

( And he thought Poshshire posh !!!)
 
Top Bottom