True Facts About Chris Rea

[Bonefish Blues]

No, he was the back end of the white horse

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea played the Olympic torch

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea has just cast off his disguise - a Celine Dion mask in the style of Mission Impossible. He'll now take a slow boat along the river, stroll through a park, hug some paralympians and nod to a centenarian before flying away in a hot air balloon.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea started his career as Tom Cruise's stunt man.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea's latest scientific quest has today been hailed a huge success, on July 11th he managed to perfect his latest top secret chemical mix, the application of which allows him to transform in to a superhero with special powers, on 13th July his field tests successfully turned him into Super Clegg, he flew towards Donald Trump at the speed of sound, & took a huge bite out of Trumps ear, Chris is currently convalescing at the Seaham Seaman's Refuge and a spokesperson said that Mr Rea is responding well to a course of strong antibiotics.

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea wears his sporran on the inside of his kilt.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea invented ear warmers that double up as pads to convert normal short to cycling shorts.

The Rea Ear Rear was not a big seller.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris hasn't spoken to his brother Stephen Rea since 1988 due to an argument over optimal tyre pressures.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea holds the world record for the most marsh mallows stuffed up a nostril.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea invented smoky bacon. His 60 a day fag habit, co tinued while cooking, meant that even virgin untreated bacon had a delicated taste of Marlboro by the time it was in the table.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea keeps a dwarf in a cage. Whenever Chris Rea wants some light relief, he places the dwarf on a small plywood stage where the dwarf dances a jig while Chris Rea and friends keep time by clapping.

 

[raleighnut]

Chris hasn't spoken to his brother Stephen Rea since 1988 due to an argument over optimal tyre pressures.
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When asked Stephen said "I didn't know you cared"

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's trademark gravelly voice is a result of his 10 a day Bovril habit.

 

[Seevio]

Chris Rea once single-handedly challenged Guardiola's Barcelona team to a football match. He lost 67-1.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is the mother of one of Boris Johnson's babies.