The British Psychological Journal concluded that the current generation of children and adults alike who are suffering from mental health and anger issues, are not victims of Lockdown, Boris Johnsons ramblings and months of isolation but years of exposure to the Telly tubbies, In the night garden and Mr Tumble.
The following is a very tangled, profound (and incomprehensible) web of Chris Rea's making relating to the above.
In a bid to appease the baying public who suffered years of abuse at the hands of C beebies, a few files were very publicly released by Auntie in front of the Village hall in Llangrannog proudly displayed by a few Stainsby girls inexplicably wearing Mackintosh Tartan.
This was in accordance with Terry Wogan's last wishes, his Last Will and Testament now been made public having been buried underneath a rather 'agricultural' remake of The Good Life which didn't meet the boards approval.
Although not very comprehensive, the most shocking revelation was a brief 5 second clip of the CCTV footage (stored on re-writeable DVD-R) of the underground goings on involving Charlie Dimnock and Chris Rea. The global press have gone to town on the lurid images but in the process a very sad fact has escaped the attention of the frenzied paparazzi:
The underground location it was revealed, belonged to Makka Pakka. Makka Pakka paid Tommy Walsh 2 boulders, 6 stones and 12 pebbles for the property. Makka Pakka has not been seen since Miss Dimnock and Mr Rea vacated the dwelling without notice (forfeiting their deposit) and knocking the neatly stacked stones down near the entrance, suggesting a very hurried exit. It is thought that Makka Pakka has been deeply traumatised by what he witnessed, further compounded by the condition of his stone arrangements.
Breaking his silence, Igglepiggle released a press statement saying that he is 'very concerned' for Makka Pakka's welfare and will be fronting a national TV appeal asking members of the public for any information that may lead to Makka Pakka's whereabouts.
