True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
In 1948 Chris Rea is in full flight through time when he decides he needs a wee.
Materialises the TURDIS in the bathroom of a New York restaurant and pops into a cubicle for a wee.
While playing sink the fag end he notices a revolver taped behind the toilet cistern. Rea grabbed it as a keepsake and quickly departed.
A few minutes later a Mr Michael Corleone entered the bathroom and frantically starts searching for the hidden gun...
Materialises the TURDIS in the bathroom of a New York restaurant and pops into a cubicle for a wee.
While playing sink the fag end he notices a revolver taped behind the toilet cistern. Rea grabbed it as a keepsake and quickly departed.
A few minutes later a Mr Michael Corleone entered the bathroom and frantically starts searching for the hidden gun...
grldtnr
Über Member
Ah! Chris Rea has added gun running to his misdemeanours who ,
Some say it was Erskine Childers,a noted hero of the Boer wars , writer of the semi factual novel 'Riddle of the Sands', who was found guilty of gun running for the IRA back in the Irish conflicts of the early 1920's, he was excuted shot by firing squad.
When all along it was Rea during his shenanigans of time travel, one of those guns was the pistol which Don Corleone was about to use to shoot dead 2 opponents to his Mafia family, realising that his actions were about to affect the timeline, he quickly nipped back replaced the gun, then whooshed back again to incriminate Erskine Childers, as a IRA sympathiser.
There is something very fishy about all this,, Childers was involved in a murky plot, to try and keep the Irish as part of the Union.
Alas ,it was not to be, as that very pistol was also used in the Murder of Michael Collins, in the SW of Ireland in a ambush, because Eamon De Velera couldn't stomach Collins attempts at brokering a deal.
Another Crime against humanity
Which whilst feasible, is totally untrue, Due to the fact Chris sold his time machine on E- bay
Some say it was Erskine Childers,a noted hero of the Boer wars , writer of the semi factual novel 'Riddle of the Sands', who was found guilty of gun running for the IRA back in the Irish conflicts of the early 1920's, he was excuted shot by firing squad.
When all along it was Rea during his shenanigans of time travel, one of those guns was the pistol which Don Corleone was about to use to shoot dead 2 opponents to his Mafia family, realising that his actions were about to affect the timeline, he quickly nipped back replaced the gun, then whooshed back again to incriminate Erskine Childers, as a IRA sympathiser.
There is something very fishy about all this,, Childers was involved in a murky plot, to try and keep the Irish as part of the Union.
Alas ,it was not to be, as that very pistol was also used in the Murder of Michael Collins, in the SW of Ireland in a ambush, because Eamon De Velera couldn't stomach Collins attempts at brokering a deal.
Another Crime against humanity
Which whilst feasible, is totally untrue, Due to the fact Chris sold his time machine on E- bay
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea speaks louder than words.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea recently used the TURDIS to get in to an F1 Grand Prix without paying.
He set the TURDIS to hover over one particular corner where he would be likely to see some overtaking action and activated the cloaking device.
Unfortunately, the Auberge Field, even when set to idle, affected the controls in Max Verstappen's car, causing to spear straight on at rhe corner and Norris to be forced off the track in his efforts to avoid him.
Not only that, the Auberge Radiation then caused Norris' car to accelerate uncontrollably and overtake Verstappen off the track.
Back home Rea was splitting his sides laughing at the furore this caused.
He set the TURDIS to hover over one particular corner where he would be likely to see some overtaking action and activated the cloaking device.
Unfortunately, the Auberge Field, even when set to idle, affected the controls in Max Verstappen's car, causing to spear straight on at rhe corner and Norris to be forced off the track in his efforts to avoid him.
Not only that, the Auberge Radiation then caused Norris' car to accelerate uncontrollably and overtake Verstappen off the track.
Back home Rea was splitting his sides laughing at the furore this caused.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea is seriously considering building several race bikes with the as yet unknown and undetectable future battery and motor tech, he’s fitted to his Brompton, getting a team of ex pros to join Rea Pro Cycling, to wreck the 2026 Tour de France, in protest at ASO and Warner Brothers, they will run the usual suspects ragged by going just fast enough to ensure they are exhausted then sit at the front all day, he is currently trying to work out how to get Lance Armstrong on the team for the biggest twos up of all time, along with Wiggo
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea played the kids' TV character Noseybonk for a while, but had to hand the role over to someone else because, as he put it, "Permanently traumatising innocent children wasn't what I signed up for"
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea eats pizza underneath his pineapple.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to go drinking with Richard Harris.
When Rea isn't looling Harris uses it to pop out for a pack of Players Navy Cut.
When Rea isn't looling Harris uses it to pop out for a pack of Players Navy Cut.
FishFright
More wheels than sense
Probably not in the spirit of the thread but he's selling his 308
https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1787040
https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1787040
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea invented the knot. Before Chris Rea went back in time, horses would wander off trailing a rope, and boats and ships would slip their moorings. As his reward he accepted a percentage of each Kingdom’s riches. He has spent the money upgrading his guitar collection.
