True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Ah! Chris Rea has added gun running to his misdemeanours who ,
Some say it was Erskine Childers,a noted hero of the Boer wars , writer of the semi factual novel 'Riddle of the Sands', who was found guilty of gun running for the IRA back in the Irish conflicts of the early 1920's, he was excuted shot by firing squad.

When all along it was Rea during his shenanigans of time travel, one of those guns was the pistol which Don Corleone was about to use to shoot dead 2 opponents to his Mafia family, realising that his actions were about to affect the timeline, he quickly nipped back replaced the gun, then whooshed back again to incriminate Erskine Childers, as a IRA sympathiser.
There is something very fishy about all this,, Childers was involved in a murky plot, to try and keep the Irish as part of the Union.
Alas ,it was not to be, as that very pistol was also used in the Murder of Michael Collins, in the SW of Ireland in a ambush, because Eamon De Velera couldn't stomach Collins attempts at brokering a deal.

Another Crime against humanity
Which whilst feasible, is totally untrue, Due to the fact Chris sold his time machine on E- bay

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea speaks louder than words.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea recently used the TURDIS to get in to an F1 Grand Prix without paying.

He set the TURDIS to hover over one particular corner where he would be likely to see some overtaking action and activated the cloaking device.

Unfortunately, the Auberge Field, even when set to idle, affected the controls in Max Verstappen's car, causing to spear straight on at rhe corner and Norris to be forced off the track in his efforts to avoid him.

Not only that, the Auberge Radiation then caused Norris' car to accelerate uncontrollably and overtake Verstappen off the track.

Back home Rea was splitting his sides laughing at the furore this caused.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is seriously considering building several race bikes with the as yet unknown and undetectable future battery and motor tech, he’s fitted to his Brompton, getting a team of ex pros to join Rea Pro Cycling, to wreck the 2026 Tour de France, in protest at ASO and Warner Brothers, they will run the usual suspects ragged by going just fast enough to ensure they are exhausted then sit at the front all day, he is currently trying to work out how to get Lance Armstrong on the team for the biggest twos up of all time, along with Wiggo

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea once took over on lead vocals with Black Sabbath when Ozzy was 'dazed & confused' and no one noticed the difference.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea played the kids' TV character Noseybonk for a while, but had to hand the role over to someone else because, as he put it, "Permanently traumatising innocent children wasn't what I signed up for"

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea eats pineapple on his pizza.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea eats pizza underneath his pineapple.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to go drinking with Richard Harris.

When Rea isn't looling Harris uses it to pop out for a pack of Players Navy Cut.

 

[FishFright]

Probably not in the spirit of the thread but he's selling his 308
https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1787040

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea once sold his girlfriend as 'barely run in'.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea invented the knot. Before Chris Rea went back in time, horses would wander off trailing a rope, and boats and ships would slip their moorings. As his reward he accepted a percentage of each Kingdom’s riches. He has spent the money upgrading his guitar collection.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea once sold his girlfriend as 'barely run in'.

That's because, using the turdis, he always used to go back in time so that every time was the first time.

 

[Drago]

60s sci-fi horror Quatermass and the Pit was based upon the archaeological discovery of Chris Rea's TURDIS during the excavations for Baker Street tube station.

 

[DRM]

December 16th 1773, whilst flying the Turdis over Boston harbour, the auberge field from it exploded and scattered the tea from the ships of the East India Company into the sea, providing the catalyst for the American revolution