Tour De France - notre Equipe

[Noodley]

Dont worry, the podium girls are very nice, they looked after me...

Joe, my dear boy. Can you report forthwith to Cathryn's mum. Take a wire brush with you, there's a good chap.

 

[Dayvo]

Dont worry, the podium girls are very nice, they looked after me I've been in their rooms for a while, showing them how the young English men ride, which they seemed to enjoy./QUOTE]

It cost me a small fortune to get those lady boys er, 'girls' to go with Joe! Just look at the way he's walking now! I bet he blames it on his saddle! Anyway, there's no way I was gonna let him have any of my girls!

I think I saw Fnaar, Melvil, Walker and Tete, round the back of the bike sheds with a small angle grinder, and one of them saying, 'They woon't be missin' four of them beauties.'

I did actually wonder why Gerard Houlier (or was it Inspector Clouseau) was wandering around shortly after!

Noodley! We'll need a motivational kick-up-the-arse this evening at dinner.

 

[Noodley]

...kick-up-the-arse this evening at dinner.

I'm not sure how motivational it will be, but I can assure many arses will be kicked.

 

[Joe24]

Joe, my dear boy. Can you report forthwith to Cathryn's mum. Take a wire brush with you, there's a good chap.

Is Cathryns mum still occupied?
Dayvo, the ones you had werent females, they switched when they saw how far my seat post could come out. That money you gave them, i know have and will be taking the same girls out tomorrow, them paying of course

 

[Dayvo]

Is Cathryns mum still occupied?
Dayvo, the ones you had werent females, they switched when they saw how far my seat post could come out. That money you gave them, i know have and will be taking the same girls out tomorrow, them paying of course

The naiivety and innocence of youth!, eh!

Fill your boots, Joe, but just watch out for those saddle sores. In fact, keep just your bib shorts on: what with not washing for a week or so, then that'll be the only contraceptive you'll need!

 

[Aperitif]

The Board are happy to know that the team has been given a kick in the massage zone - the Halfords reputation is at stake here, and we must do as much as possible to uphold this position.
Good teamwork boys.
Watching a replay of the last stage - drinking beers in Cannes (the Halfords Board decided to have a sail...) - we thought for a moment that we had a winner. But it was Piepoli - not Rolipoli. Still, we trust in the actions of the DirectorSportif Noodley who continues to impress with his sporting direction. He was the obvious choice after leading his old team to success in the 'Fletch' Walone last year.
One of our young riders, Joe Deuxquatre, is showing signs of inexperience and an inability - it seems - to tell the difference between males and females, speed, climbing, paperwork and all the technical aspects of cycling. He seems a bit lary and devisive though, when it comes to working his way around...
In the words of Sir Archie Wheelnut, Chairman of the Sponsor's Board - "There's a job waiting for you as manager of Milton Keynes m'boy."

 

[mondobongo]

Right then I point blank refuse to wear crappy knitted kit either you get Rapha or Assos to provide the Team Kit or I am off to this new Uber - Elite Russian Team that has just been formed. One of their reps has just been waving a contract under my nose and also told me not to worry about this rumour they are after Cadel its not true but they are chasing Cav.

Pot Noodle the ball is in your court.

 

[Dayvo]

Right then I point blank refuse to wear crappy knitted kit either you get Rapha or Assos to provide the Team Kit or I am off to this new Uber - Elite Russian Team that has just been formed. One of their reps has just been waving a contract under my nose and also told me not to worry about this rumour they are after Cadel its not true but they are chasing Cav.

Pot Noodle the ball is in your court.

Speaking on behalf of my diligent DS, that sounds like an offer we can't refuse! Playing Russian roulette with us, whatever next?

Bye Bye, and you don't get any holiday pay! Except a one-way ticket to Siberia.

And anyone else thinking of mutinying, think twice!

 

[Speicher]

Oh dear, I can see now that I made a mistake. But, if you insist on approaching the massage bed table with a mouth full of pizza, and then start talking to me, is it my fault that you say Bandage and I think you said you want Bondage?

 

[Disgruntled Goat]

Can I supply the 'special medical assistance'?

 

[Noodley]

Listen team, I reckon if we can stick this out for the next few days we might be in for a shout. There's bugger all chance of us getting tested, as only a complete fool would think we are on anything. So keep up the rubbish performances and we could sneak it - and even if we don't we'll have the moral high ground!

So what I'm trying to say is: just keep in there.

 

[Aperitif]

The Board of Sponsors think it is wise for all those concerned to keep it stuck in there cf. Joe Deuxquatre etc and it may well be useful that Disgruntled Goat has been installed as 'Special Medical Assistance' to the Team.
Energy drinks all round.
Where's the Blacksmith mechanic?

 

[tdr1nka]

I think I saw the blacksmith mechanic take off this morning like a Farrier Jump Jet after a row about the cleats he had apparently been making out of old horse shoes?

 

[Fnaar]

Can I supply the 'special medical assistance'?

Only if you let the female members of the team carress your mullet (see avatar of DG)

 

[Smokin Joe]

Right, we're on the lightweight wheels from tomorrow lads. Unfortunately, because the idiot in the local bikeshop can't speak English (I thought these frogs were supposed to be clever? I'm hoarse from shouting and he still looked puzzled) all the spokes I bought were too long and I didn't find out till they had closed. However, using the engineering expertise we trained mechanics are famed for I got round the problem by tying knots in the spokes and they fitted perfectly.

Look after these now, I don't know what you lot are doing that they keep breaking.