Tour De France - notre Equipe

[mondobongo]

That yellow motorbike will be along anytime now to tell us what the time gap is, can't understand a word the Noodley one is saying he's getting over excited now that we have pinged off the front and are away up the road.

Tete your turn on the front my son.

 

[mondobongo]

Come on guys we need to keep it moving the Space Shuttle Mob are chasing hard.

 

[Dayvo]

Speicher, those were not uniforms - they were for wearing when de-fumigating Dayvo's room

Yes, I do apologise about that!
I did ask the podium girls to shower afterwards, but they just giggled and sprayed champers over me all the time!
My fault, really; I did ask for a champagne breakfast in bed!
They kept going on about an egg, until I realised they were saying 'enuff enuff' in English!

 

[Aperitif]

As 'Head of Nordic Entertainments' Dayvo, I presume that you were holding trials...
When Noodley shouted 'Carpe Diem' to you - he didn't mean 'Po Dium' - you must have misheard him...



...luckily!

 

[Dayvo]

I presume that you were holding trials

Erm, yes, er, exactly!

I wanted them to have a good look at the Arctic Circle and Aurora Borealis, but as I didn't have the 'National Geogaphic' channel on the TV, I had to demonstrate instead!

 

[Cathryn]

They kept going on about an egg, until I realised they were saying 'enuff enuff' in English!

NOOOOOOOOOOO...not that old chesnut!!

 

[Aperitif]

NOOOOOOOOOOO...not that old chesnut!!

With the 'podiumettes' Dayvo was definitely not dealing in old chest nuts...

 

[Speicher]

Word of warning:-

Right, early night for me. I need all my strength for a vigorous session on the massage table working on the bikes in the morning.

PS Speicher, do you prefer red or white wine? Might help with the technique, if you know what I mean, say no more, nudge nudge

I am surprised at you, Smokin Joe. As a fine upstanding member of this team, you should not be casting aspirations about my consumption of alcohol. You obviously need taking firmly in hand.

 

[tdr1nka]

When Noodley shouted 'Carpe Diem' to you - he didn't mean 'Po Dium' - you must have misheard him...

'Po Dium' = 'toilet day'?

I've just rammed a frusli

I thought you had run into the back of an italian bike!!

 

[Smokin Joe]

I am surprised at you, Smokin Joe. As a fine upstanding member of this team, you should not be casting aspirations about my consumption of alcohol. You obviously need taking firmly in hand.

In return for your delightful skills on the massage table I will be only too happy to pass on my mechanical knowledge to you, Speicher. Meet me at the back of the team bus later, when "Herr Noodley" is safely out of the way giving the riders a team talk (which sends most of them to sleep, he does go on a bit not that anyone can understand his Scots gibberish after he has been at the bar) and I will show you how to grease a seatpost. The Fuherer has locked all the spares away after he found a couple of carbon chainsets in my suitcase which I put there for safe keeping, but I'm sure we can "improvise" if you know what I mean , say no more eh?

 

[Speicher]

I do hope you mean "on the inside" at the back of the bus. It would be most unfortunate if you got there first, and if anyone saw you and made comparisions regarding your face and the back of a bus! :?:

Could you also explain the following to me? I have been looking at Mr Valverde's finer points again , and found that his pulsations are 36 per minute. Would you be able to show me what this means?

I should add that "Pulsations" is French, I suppose it depends how good you are as a linguist.

 

[Smokin Joe]

I do hope you mean "on the inside" at the back of the bus. It would be most unfortunate if you got there first, and if anyone saw you and made comparisions regarding your face and the back of a bus! :?:

Could you also explain the following to me? I have been looking at Mr Valverde's finer points again , and found that his pulsations are 36 per minute. Would you be able to show me what this means?

I should add that "Pulsations" is French, I suppose it depends how good you are as a linguist.

I am regarded as something of an expert on the more exotic continental methods and have been complimented many times on the quality of my pulsations, which I might add without boasting, are considerably higher than 36 per minute. I guess I am just more experienced than Mr Valverde, what with the boy spending so much of his time on the bike and that.

Not a word to Captain Mainwairing however, he is getting a bit tetchy lately.

 

[tdr1nka]

The Noodle esq. has been ordered to take a well earned rest as he is still having dreams that he is being stalked by a giant fish on a bicycle throwing people at him.
As soon as the valium wears off I'm sure he'll be back to his old self.......
Hang on I'd better get some more valium then.

 

[mondobongo]

Ride faster we got shelled out the back then and onto page 2 not good enough for a Team thats supposed to be pushing it hard.

 

[Dayvo]

When we give you your musettes, you're meant to eat/drink 'on the wing'! Not stop somewhere with a nice view and have a jolly old picnic!

Rider 1. 'Oh, I've got ham and mustard sarnies again! I told Noodley I don't like mustard, but he must have forgotten!'

Rider 2. 'I like mustard, but is it 'proper' Coleman's mustard or that rubbish Dijon mustard?'

Rider 1. 'Well, it's pretty hot, so it must be Coleman's. You can have them, but only if I can swap them with two of your power bars, the ones with fruit and nuts in, not the chocolate ones.'

Rider 3. 'Can someone watch my bike; I'm just going for, er, a pee.'

Rider 2. 'OK, but don't be long, Noodley'll be checking us on his GPS and wonder why we've all stopped at the same time!'

Rider 3. 'No, I'll be right back. I don't know the way, anyway, so I'll have to follow you lot.'

Rider 4. 'Don't worry, I know a good caf near here; we can stop for a proper cuppa there, I've got a load of tea bags with me.'


and so it goes on!