Tom Swifties

[Fnaar]

"ppppfffththththtaaaaaarrrrppppp!" said Virginia Bottomley.

or

"ppppfffththththtaaaaaarrrrppppp!" said Virginia, talking out of her @rse.


or


"ppppfffththththtaaaaaarrrrppppp!" said Virginia, chuffed.


or


"I might be anally retentive", said Eric, not giving much away.


or


"I don't want to go to bed with you" said Mary, tight-lipped.

 

[Speicher]

"On which side does Sir dress?" asked the tailor, stiffly.

 

[Fnaar]

"I hate exams" said Snodgrass, testily.

 

[Fnaar]

"Does my bum look big in this?" asked Edna, backofabus-ily

 

[alecstilleyedye]

"no one picks their nose better than me" tom crowed.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

"like my al jolson routine?" asked tom, darkly

 

[domtyler]

"You did a fantastic job of fixing the burst pipe" gushed Tom.

"I'm not really a big fan of Lemons" said Tom sourly.

"And I hate having to swallow pills with no water" he remarked with some bitterness.

"I can manage if they have a sugar coating though" he smiled sweetly.

 

[Landslide]

"Curse this stormy weather!" thundered Tom.

 

[domtyler]

"You hit the nail on the head there!" remarked Tom ironically.

"You seem to have a large number of lines appearing on your forehead" Tom frowned.

"QWERTY" typed Tom.

"I have a large collection of Highland music" Tom piped up.

 

[domtyler]

"I simply love your new collection of low energy light bulbs" Tom glowed.

 

[domtyler]

"If you flap your arms hard enough you will probably take off!" larked Tom.

"I saw it on the news this morning" reported Tom.

"This is my first cake actually, the first one fell on the floor" retorted Tom.

"Okay, I admit, it's my fourth cake" he scoffed.

 

[domtyler]

"Alright I admit it, reversing on a bike is not easy, even on fixed-wheel" Tom back-pedalled.

 

[Speicher]

"How Fnaar are you prepared to go?" she asked suggestively

"Do you work for Cunard" asked the shipping magnate rudely. (very rudely indeed)

 

[Maverick Goose]

It couldn't have penetrated more deeply

 

[red_tom]

"Doe!", said Tom endearingly