Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Fnaar]

No, I don't need a bloody hand with my packing...use your eyes woman! Do I have flippers instead of hands? Or hooks for hands that might rip the plastic bags but be good for carrying them on? Eh? Eh?

 

[4F]

If I wanted to use the self service till then I would have gone over there, now bog off and get on with stacking the shelves

 

[threebikesmcginty]

If you're sat at the reception desk how about a 'good morning' - wouldn't kill you would it you hard faced old moo.

 

[4F]

I appreciate you may only be popping into the shop but do you think parking on the zerbra crossing is really going to help ?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Allow me to leap out of the way of your mobility scooter - I'm awfully sorry I had no idea you were allowed to go that fast on the pavement. And had right of way.

 

[ChrisKH]

Dear Uncle

Thank you for the Sonic electric toothbrush when we got married. Unfortunately I have just learned on the ten o'clock news, by e-mail and on You Tube that your business has gone under and you owe £20m approx. to people who paid you money in good faith for a certain service. Now I thought you were a bit dodgy when I was eight and you divorced my favourite auntie and we gave you the benefit of the doubt when you got caught re-labelling bottles of cheap Scotch as Jonnie Walker, we even showed some sympathy when your conservatory business went under owing large sums and you were banned from being a UK director. But enough is enough. Please desist from starting any other businesses in the UK, stop dragging the family name through the mud (my mother must be turning in her grave) and retire to your French 'retreat' preferably to do the decent thing with a loaded shotgun or using rope from one of the really expensive light fittings probably paid for using other people's money.

Yours sincerely

Your nephew.

P.S. I think it unlikely you will be too popular at any family soirees so would suggest you stay away.

P.P.S. Operating an advanced booking system without ring-fencing client monies and then spending it is pretty uncool.

 

[Hilldodger]

If I wanted to use the self service till then I would have gone over there, now bog off and get on with stacking the shelves

I usually had "this is part of the service industry and I want to be served"

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Have we had 'stick your job up your arse' yet?

 

[Archie_tect]

Am I ready to order yet? Let me think, I've only been here 20 minutes with the menu....

 

[4F]

ffs, why can't you get your purse out of your handbag before you get to the till ?

 

[ianrauk]

Am I ready to order yet? Let me think, I've only been here 20 minutes with the menu....

And when you ask if we would like water with our meal, please don't look pissed off & turn your nose up when I ask for tap water and not one of your fancy overpriced bottles of the stuff.

 

[ianrauk]

ffs, why can't you get your purse out of your handbag before you get to the till ?

Ok, now you have your purse in your hand, please feel free to take eternity finding & counting the smallest of coins into the poor checkout persons hand.. oh yes, don't forget to drop a couple of coins just to prolong the waiting agony.

 

[Archie_tect]

It's a roundabout.... if there's nothing in sight, you don't have to stop!!!!

 

[4F]

Ok, now you have your purse in your hand, please feel free to take eternity finding & counting the smallest of coins into the poor checkout persons hand.. oh yes, don't forget to drop a couple of coins just to prolong the waiting agony.

Grrrrrr how many zips have you got on that handbag and do they all really need to be done up before you can leave

and breathe

 

[threebikesmcginty]

No, take your time pressing the f#cking go button - I'm quite happy standing here all day squeezing the handle on this petrol pump.