Things you'd like to say, but can't

[BearPear]

back on topic...

To the little toe-rag-never-worked-a-day-in-my-life git I saw this afternoon, the fact that you got your benefit money and hot-footed it round to the bookies to blow it all, rather than pay your rent and as a consequence your landlord is going to evict you - IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!!

You claimed, we paid, you didn't expect so much money, so of course the natural reaction is to blow the lot - free money!! And this is not your fault??? Ar*e-hole.

 

[Kirstie]

TO THE FRENCH NATION:

When you are out walking your small french dogs of an evening and the little darling stops to have a crap in the street, TAKE A PLASTIC BAG WITH YOU, PICK UP THE POOP IN SAID BAG AND PUT IT IN THE NEAREST RUBBISH BIN.

Then your country won't smell of dog crap.

 

[CopperBrompton]

Please can we cease this moronic "We bailed out the banks and will be paying for it for years" malarky? Yes, the banks were incompetent fools in buying 'investment packages' without the faintest idea what they were actually buying, and yes, we the taxpayers had to spend a lot of money to sort it out.

But what we actually did was not to give money to bankers, but to buy shares in their banks when those shares were at all-time low. We now own large chunks of them and are already in profit as a result of buying shares at a bargain price. We will not be paying for it for years, we will be profiting from it for years.

 

[TheDoctor]

To owners of Indian (and other) restaurants,
Please don't make a big load of filter coffee before you open up, and then keep it hot all evening.
After an hour it's *awful* and it doesn't get better.
Invest in a Gaggia machine, or buy a load of little cafetieres.
You'll sell *lots* more coffee that way.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

TO THE FRENCH NATION:

When you are out walking your small french dogs of an evening and the little darling stops to have a crap in the street, TAKE A PLASTIC BAG WITH YOU, PICK UP THE POOP IN SAID BAG AND PUT IT IN THE NEAREST RUBBISH BIN.

Then your country won't smell of dog crap.

I thought tthey had those machines that freeze it so it can be disposed of.

......Or was that just a stand up sketch I saw a few years back??

OH AND TO THE ENGLISH NATION:

You don't like France, yes, we get it! you won the world cup in 1966, yes, we get it! you people who bang on about being northern - you are all living in the middle of the sodding country as far as I am concerned, Leeds is NOT north, Lairg IS!! and lastly, London isn't the centre of the universe, neither is New York even, its ........BERLIN!!


*Dons flame proof suit and heads for cover*.

 

[Fnaar]

Look, I didn't even see your email, let alone answer it. I was on holiday, geddit? Holi-flipping-day. I was on a beach, swimming, soaking up the sun, enjoying time with my family. You and work were so far from my mind that they might as well have been on Mars.


[edit:] Oh yeah, and while I may be at home now, I'm still officially on holiday, so don't phone me up about it... it may be important to you, but it isn't to me, so bugger off, OK?

 

[Speicher]

Aha Hello there!

Yes, I can see that you have done an excellent job -

of painting yourself into that corner.

Yes, it is an excellent design all over the floor. Must have taken a lot of effort to plan that, and execute it. Very clever.

What? Do I have paint all over my hands?
Have I got an opened paint tin in my hands? I don't think so. Am I the one holding the paint brush?

You did this all by yourself. What a shame you chose to use paint that is intended for tile floors. I am sure you know just how long that stuff takes to dry. It takes about two days before you can walk across it, but even then you will leave footprints on your path to the door. Oh well, I suppose you could redo the whole thing again.

One last thing, do you remember me trying to tell you that this would happen?

 

[Ranger]

Look doing the washing doesn't mean putting 5 loads in the machine one after the other and then piling them into the washing basket that then can't be lifted.

It is quite simple, do load of washing put it out on the line/airer (delete as appropriate) and then put in the next load

 

[Arch]

Look, I know you hate the police. Seeing two of them in a cafe was the perfect opportunity for you to moan about how they should be doing some bloody work.

But then having an extra half hour teabreak this afternoon, and then not making any effort to help me with the job I went and got on with after the teabreak is kinda losing you the moral high ground isn't it?

One day, I think I will make up a boyfriend in the police, just to see your face....

 

[Bigsharn]

Thanks for actually giving me the job boss, but when you ask me to work 9-3 and get sent home at 1:30 because there are only trickles of people to sell stuff to, and yet I still make sure I earn my keep per hour it gets DAMN ANNOYING.

 

[atbman]

Look, if you came up to me on the street and said, "I know a friend of yours, can I be your friend?", I'd think you were a creepy stalker-type weirdo. What makes you think doing it by email re Facebook, makes it any different!!!!!

 

[ComedyPilot]

Look, if you came up to me on the street and said, "I know a friend of yours, can I be your friend?", I'd think you were a creepy stalker-type weirdo. What makes you think doing it by email re Facebook, makes it any different!!!!!

Good call

 

[longers]

Aha Hello there!

Yes, I can see that you have done an excellent job -

of painting yourself into that corner.

Oops!

Are they still there?

There were a few things said today that people ought to have said a long while ago, a festering boil has been pricked but not squeezed fully. Yet.
I hope for the sake of a quick recovery that it gets a good lancing and with a bit of after-care the scarring won't be too bad. Hopefully!

 

[Speicher]

The person in question will be in that metaphorical corner for a considerable time yet. This is because of all the confusion and obsfuscation they insisted on using.

 

[Stig-OT-Dump]

I think you look really attractive.