Things you'd like to say, but can't

[flake99please]

To the clown in the passenger seat of the Red Suzuki jeep that opened his door and tried to knock me off my bike for 'bantz' yesterday. Pity you (and the driver) weren't man enough to stay at the Red traffic light 200 yards up from the 'incident' before I pulled up there.

Registration noted. Video footage will be submitted. Pray the old bill catch up with you before I do.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

I've just mentioned neon underpants in a thread. I can't wait to see what banner ads appear later!

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

So one driver decides it's ok to pull out and force me to brake hard - after all Barnsley priority is the reverse of the highway code. But what in all that is farking holy and painted pink makes the following two drivers think they're entitled to do the same without a look?

 

[Dirk]

If you are such a good 'Financial and Retirement Advisor' as you claim; why are you still working?

 

[Arjimlad]

"You get to choose between your sodding mobile phone or your van/car keys, which are you giving up ?"

 

[GrumpyGregry]

So. You're angry that there is a lack of end-to-end ownership being shown on these deliverables? You feel like those around you are not taking responsibility for the delivery. Yet you're the PM for this workstream, not him, not her, not him either, nor me. You have no defined final agreed and signed-off list of requirements. Your use cases aren't covered by the current service model, you've got no design, and anyway your solution doesn't need any new infra so why the **** are you bitchin' about me, in my ****in' earshot, to our SI who is the source of the dysfunctional cluelessness that has dogged us from day one with their "we just assumed we could use such-and-such for this" without declaring that assumption?

Oh dear.

I said it anyway. I'll be up before the beak in the morning. Again.

And I'll explain myself. Again.

And they'll agree I have a point. Again.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Excuse me my manhood has become engorged and got caught in the undergrowth. I need to leave the room to adjust myself. Yes it is not comfortable.

 

[Lullabelle]

Don't worry too much, by the New Year your kids will be bored of the puppy so it will end up with your mother in law anyway.

 

[NorthernDave]

A 5% charge for using a credit card not issued by your sponsors? Isn't that illegal?*


* - no point getting into an argument with the polite, friendly and very busy minimum wager staffing the merch stand, but I have emailed her boss...

 

[TVC]

Well this is rather dull.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

For flip's sake every time I do a piece of self-service low-risk procurement the process has changed and become even more needlessly bureaucratic that it was the last time I used it.

 

[ianrauk]

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
Your lips are moving but I can't hear what they're saying.
Give it a rest yeah.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

If you wish them to take your request seriously, and accept that its resolution is within their remit, it is probably best if you don't log a ticket which says, in effect "we don't have a clue where the problem lies so we'd like you to do some random sh1t to see if that fixes it." "Have you tried switching it off and on again?" not normally being the first line of resolution activity for an enterprise class solution.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

If you are such a good 'Financial and Retirement Advisor' as you claim; why are you still working?

As Loius Jordan once sang "If you're so smart... How come you ain't rich?"

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

It's nice to see everyone has cleared the snow from all of their car windows, and haven't just scraped the windscreen and let the back one melt by itself.