Things you'd like to say, but can't

[NorthernDave]

I only suspected that you were a teapot when I spotted you edging your white Maserati out of the junction onto the main road.
You confirmed it when you pulled out in front of me, forcing me to brake and then rolled your window down to provide a hand signal not listed in the Highway Code.

 

[TheDoctor]

When in Hamburg a few years ago, I spent a long time trying to orientate myself by looking for 'Elbebrucken' on the map.

Elbebrucken. Is that anywhere near Ausfarht? I'm sure I've seen that signposted before.

 

[alicat]

Elbebrucken. Is that anywhere near Ausfarht? I'm sure I've seen that signposted before.

Me too. Always makes me laugh.

 

[ColinJ]

Elbebrucken. Is that anywhere near Ausfarht? I'm sure I've seen that signposted before.

Ausfarht? Well, as my old vater used to say - better aus than in!

 

[marknotgeorge]

I know that some road users understand the Highway Code about as much as they understand The Brief History of Time, but that doesn't make it Science, Audible!

 

[simon.r]

You're not a child anymore, please take some responsibility for your own (in)actions and stop blaming anyone but yourself when things don't go your way. You are not hard done by, you have lots of practical and emotional support and everyone around you wants you to succeed. But you will not succeed if you continue to behave like a small child and expect everyone else to do everything for you.

Basically - just flippin' grow up a bit!

(I've said most of this in much more diplomatic terms but circumstances prevent me being as blunt as I'd like to be).

 

[RoubaixCube]

I came here to get a haircut.... I didnt know that this place had turned into a childens day care center..

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Your incompetent mechanics are damaging the reputation of our product. Get them sorted!

(A scooter has been returned to us as it "couldn't be fixed". So far everything our technical expert has looked at on it has been badly misadjusted or simply not tightened up. 10 minutes tinkering with the carburetter had it running. The odd chattering noise from the engine will take a little longer.)

 

[gavgav]

I've won the lottery, and I'm calling from a hot sunny beach to tell you to stick your project and job where the sun doesn't shine

 

[TheDoctor]

It was a real pleasure helping you, and I'm glad I got to know you, even though it wasn't for long.
RIP.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Update on the scooter: The engine has been stripped down and we find that the mechanic has damaged the crankcase by prising apart the two halves with a screwdriver rather than using the correct tool and has also completely failed to notice the 2mm of play in the big end bearing and 1mm in the little end bearing which it's reasonable to say was the source of the odd noise the bike went in for in the first place.

 

[ianrauk]

You're a f******g liar and a fantasist.

 

[potsy]

You're a f******g liar and a fantasist.

Anyone we know?

 

[Jenkins]

Dear unknown cyclist(s) - why the hell did you throw your used tubes away by the hedge when there was a waste bin just a few feet away?

I had to stop here today to change tubes and noticed that there were a couple of old tubes thown on the ground under the notice board behind the bench - the bin is less than 10 feet to the right! Needless to say, my tube, the other two and the CO2 cylinder I used were properly disposed of before I carried on.,

 

[raleighnut]

Dear unknown cyclist(s) - why the hell did you throw your used tubes away by the hedge when there was a waste bin just a few feet away?

I had to stop here today to change tubes and noticed that there were a couple of old tubes thown on the ground under the notice board behind the bench - the bin is less than 10 feet to the right! Needless to say, my tube, the other two and the CO2 cylinder I used were properly disposed of before I carried on.,

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